All My Exes Live in Portland

Eva used to handcrank down her window in my volvo '88,

Rachel preferred twee pop and my lady friends to date.

Tavita thought I drank too much, Mary knew to code,

Sam assumed each tryst was a momentary node.

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Carrie liked to dress like men, play punk rock through the night,

Chloe liked to get dolled up to ride with all her might.

Kathy tended chickens, Sunshine lost her mind,

Daisy doxxed my best friend, put the law on him to find.

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Yes! All my exes live in Portland,

and Portland is a place I'd dearly love to be.

But all my exes burned down Portland,

so now I make a home in Tennessee.

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