Source
r/OCPoetry•
atinylotus

I Wish I Were A Lamp

Poem

TW: abuse

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​

I remember sitting on the couch

And the resounding sound

Of screaming

Echoing throughout the house

I'm scheming

My heart pounds

Planning my escape

What did I do now?

My dignity is raped

​

I don’t notice

You've stripped me away

So I just take it as is

I stare at the fireplace

I think I would like to live

As a fire place poker

or maybe a lamp

​

Maybe then, I would have a chance

I wouldn’t have to sit in one place

I could take a strong stance

I wouldn't have to avert my gaze

Or feel my jaw clench

while you yell in my face

God, I wish I were a bench

​

I would no longer have a brain

Maybe this life would make sense

If I couldn't process pain

Would you actually love me then?

​

Wouldn't it be great?

If I was just a little bit older

If I didn't feel your weight

Crushing my shoulders

Or the open palm

​

Smack!

​

Because you had a bad day

Again

I would no longer have to keep my heart

Locked in a cage

Because I wouldn’t have one

​

It wouldn’t feel so bad

Because I am a lamp

And none of it matters anymore

You won't have to feed me

And I’ll never get bored

I'll never complain

Or make a mistake

I'll only have one job

Turn on, turn off

I'll work really hard

On nights and weekends

It'll be easy for me

Since I'll have nothing

​

In fact

You can do whatever you want

And I won’t complain

Because I can’t talk

Or feel anything at all

And then you’d have no one to blame

Because I couldn’t take the fall

​

God, I wish I were a lamp

​

Maybe then, you wouldn't hate me

​

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Posted Sep 17, 2022, 2:26 PM UTC

42
edgeoftheatlas•

I really admire the way you've chosen to express the concept detachment and depersonalization; how injured the narrator feels simply by virtue of existing, because the situation they're trying to escape from causes absolute and inescapable hurt.

I'm not sure if you focus intentionally on meter, but you have some consistency that occasionally breaks down throughout other lines. I think that's thematic, too—like the poem is struggling to hold itself together, or like it doesn't fit within the structure it's trying to become.

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