He comes with a scale, and we play a game for my life.

Knock,Knock,Knock.

Always three knocks on the door, assertive knocks, not too strong, but enough to be heard.

He doesn't have a favorite time, doesn't wait until I'm doing something specific, under sunny weather or torrential rain, when it is hot or cold, he just comes.

Knock,knock,knock.

He is patient, and knows that I am not. He knows I'll let him in eventually.

Knock,knock,knock.

Might as well get it over with. My palms are sweating, heart pounding, and with weak legs, I get up.

Knock, knock, knock.

I open the door.

There he is again, a tall figure, swathed in black, with a hood over his head, two shinning blue orbs, and the grin of skull.

"Hello my friend! Long time no see!" He says in a warm voice, with an otherworldly tone to it, low and deep, and so infatuating.

I feeI no fear of his features, thats not the problem. I stand there, legs shaking and trying to tell him to go away, but he lets himself in.

"It's been a long time since our last game hasn't it? I hope you have not forgotten your old pal!" Always so jolly, full of conviction, persuasive.

He sets a scale on the table, and a set of rusty weights by its side. Organizes them meticulosly, by weight, and he calls me. "C'mon, you know how this works!" And gives a hearty laugh. I can't help but chuckle with him.

I give, one, two hesitant steps to the table, and a quick glance at the door. But running doesn't help, I could go away, but he would still be here when I returned.

I have changed houses, but he always finds my new place.

I could seek the help of friends, but that doesn't help forever.

I resign myself, look back at the table and sit down. Somehow his grin widens, he has a look of aproval, and reaches for the set of weights.

"Look at this new beauty I have acquired! 30kg, beautiful is it not?" I nod, and tell him it is impressive.

I'm always cordial to him, and he is always cordial to me.

He sets it on his side of the scale. It whines on its hinges, all rusty. And he looks at me. "Do you think you can beat it this time, friend?"

I pick up one of his weights. 1kg, and set it on the scale. "This is the great soup I had today, had all my favorite ingredients"

"Was it that good? Very well…" He says. "What else have you got?"

I pick up a 5kg weight. "This one represents my dog"

"He is a very good boy isn't he?" He gives my dog a scratch on the head. "What else?"

I'm start sweating. These two are always my openers, after that, the real struggle begins. My mind is racing. I pick up a 10kg weight. "This one represents my work this week."

"10 kilos?" He says "You know it was not that good…There were holes all over it…"

He is right. Always so persuasive, strong, compelling. How I hate him for that.

"It was worth 5kg at most, and you agree with me, don't you?" He looks at me grinning, always with that smile.

I nod, and put the 5kg weight on the scale. I judge my next move with care, and pick up a 2kg weight.

"This represents my dreams" I say.

He looks at it, contemplating for a while. "Fair" He finally utters.

I sigh with relief.

I think hard, what else to put at the scale?

I reach for the 20 kg weight. He looks at me with a quizzical look.

With a shaky voice, I say. "T-this one represents my friends"

He looks at me in silence, his grin widens, and he lets out a hearthy laugh. He laughs and laughs, bringing rage from inside me, and fear.

He finally composes himself. "2-20kg!?!" He says between chuckles. "You know for sure that is NOT true."

His grin is wide. "Where do I begin? When was the last time they invited you for something?"

I look at my shoes

"When was the last time they asked if you're fine?"

I keep my gaze firm at the ground.

"How do you know they really like you?"

Tears dance on my eyes.

"Thats right friend, even you know that is an overestimation. You're not that important, you're a periferal. They put up with you."

"They laugh at my jokes!" I say.

"They laugh at a joke, thats for sure." He grins at me

"They have said I'm important to them!" I say with tears running down.

"Sure you are. But is it because they enjoy you, or because they think you are useful? They put up with you, because you're so easy to use" and he gives another laugh. I agree with him. So persuasive, strong, realistic.

"That is not true" I say with a shaky voice.

"You know it is, I don't lie friend. Lets knock that weight down shall we, 8kg seems fair to me…"

"NO" I shout at him, "that's unfair!"

He considers, looks at me, and says "Very well, maybe 10kg is more fair" He grins at me, "What else?"

What else indeed, I start shacking, and it feels so cold, even at midday. Something, anything to set on that scale. I pick up a 5 kg weight.

"This represent my house" I say.

He cocks his head and gives me a weird look.

"Your house? This place? No. Thats is not a valid bet. It is filthy." He says

I nod, he is right.

"Then it represents my garden" I say

"You garden?" He says with a chuckle. "What, you find weeds beautiful now? No"

I force myself to think, anything goddamn it! "My book!" I spit out the words " I need to finish it!

"True" He says. "But 5 kg? Thats too much, a 1kg seems more fair to me."

I nod, and set 1 kg at the balance.

"What else?"

6 kg left to go, I just need more reasons, I can do this, please, I know I can! I pick up a 1kg weight. "This one represents my anger"

"Yes, but is it fair? Anger at what? Yourself? your own choices? Thats is not a valid one, you're starting to make me thing you don't have anything else to set on that scale, friend."

"I do have more reasons! I just need to think!" My heart is pounding hard, I'm desperate now and suddenly, I remember!

I pick up a 20 kg weight. "My parents!"

He looks at me and shakes his head. "20kg? No. You're far from perfect. They might love you, but you fail too much. You're not like other people and they know it, you didn't bring joy like the other kids, nor pride on your adulthood. That is barely worth a 5"

I sag in my chair, look at the weight, and at him. And I nod.

What else, friend?

There is nothing else. I don't know. I can't put anything else on that scale. Nothing matters to me anymore. My eyes fill with tears, I feel hollow inside.

"Is that it? Nothing else to bet?" His eyes are so much more bright now.

"Do you accept that you lost?" He asks.

I shake my head.

He sighs " You know there is nothing left. C'mon admit that you lost." He gets up from the chair and walks around me. "Just give up, give me a hug, and let it go. It is going to be so much easier"

He is right, it would be so easy. The pain would end, he would win. And I wouldn't need to do this again.

He is right.He is cunning. He is persuasive.

I start getting up, maybe thats it. Just give him a hug and end this once and for all. He won, you lost. There is peace in that.

He opens his arms, expecting a hug. It looks so inviting. His grin is wide, and his eyes burn with intensity. I take a step towards him. His grin widens even more, somehow.

"No." I say. There is one thing yet.

"Hmmm? And what is that friend"

"Trust, the one people have in me,that I'll do the right thing". I pick up a 2kg weight, and set it on the scale.

He looks at me, and back at the scale. I hold my breath and close my eyes. Silence dominates the house.

"Fair." He says.

I gasp for air and open my eyes again, he walks to the table in silence and start gathering his things. "Congratulations, you win one more round!" He says cheerfully.

I stare at him. He walks to the door and opens it. "That was a close one, hope you find some more reasons."

He looks back at me, with a wide grin, and flickering eyes. " but be sure of this: I'll get you one day, friend." He walks out, and closes the door.

I look blankly at the door, and for a brief moment I have a feeling that if he wins this twisted game, my death will follow shortly, and not by his hand.

"I won't let you." I sit at my chair and sigh.