[1248] The Melancholy Fragments, Prologue

This is the opening to a story I've been wanting to write for a while. I want to use a flawed third-person limited narrator to follow a main character as he tries to sort through his trauma, disappointing life circumstances, and personal failures. My goal is to set the general melancholic tone for the story with this interaction between the main character and an individual that only appears here.

Asking for all general feedback, but particularly interested to hear opinions on the narrative voice, style, and relationship with the main character. This is my first substantive literary writing endeavor and my first post to this sub. Thanks, and looking forward to getting ripped apart! Have a good one.

Piece: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MrgILYjLfINlGJMN5--_D_wZab0MXdIv0lwTL9D-tgg/edit?usp=sharing

Critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/xe8jz1/comment/ip5pj4m/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3