My partner has herpes and it’s killing our sex life

I (24y F) have been seeing my partner (33y M) for 6 months now. On our second date he disclosed to me that he has herpes. Thankfully I was well educated and my mother also had it - I knew enough to offer my understanding and lack of judgement. He hadn’t seen anyone for 2 years (since his diagnosis) due to the level of insecurity he felt around it. So at first when he realised I was comfortable we got a bit crazy. We were active nearly everyday (honeymoon lol) and at times between outbreaks even without protection. His drive was high and he was very passionate.

We’ve had 2 scares where I thought I contracted it (I often get thrush due to being sensitive down there) and Slowly his drive has dramatically decreased and I can tell it’s a massive emotional block for him. Im trying to be understanding and patient and communicate healthily. As well as making sure I meet my needs by self pleasuring regularly. But I really value sexual connection in relationship and probably have a high sex drive. I’ve tried giving him time and space to come to me - I’ve tried very subtly Turning him on. But now because there are such large intervals between our sex (we’re having sex once a month) he finishes quite quickly. I try to be understanding but because of his low sex drive he doesn’t even really put the effort in to pleasure me beforehand anymore. I just miss the animalistic rough side to him.

Any advice and or experience would be greatly appreciated. As frustrating as it is for me I can’t imagine how he feels.

JUST TO ADD: I know I said we’ve had two “scares” but I haven’t actually used that word with him. And it’s not how I see it. I say scares because for him it was incredibly emotional. Which I understand. Genuinely whenever I have thought I had it I was so assuring that I was genuinely okay with it and have actually said I’d rather just have it so him and I have no limitations around connecting. So just making it clear that I am genuinely in afraid of contracting it ❤️