Prayer of a self-aware addict

I'm panicked,

I'm so beyond uncomfortable that I wish I vanished,

Stabbed in the back with a blade that by my own hand was brandished,

Hemorrhaging emotions from a blow I myself landed,

Oh how Candid,

Look how pitiful and low this man is,

The weakest most pathetic person on the planet,

Somehow I took my life for granted,

My vision once on the straight and narrow,

Now everythings slanted,

How did I manage?

To make it so little in life yet deal such devastating damage?

I can't stand it,

Yoked into bondage by these chains of oppression,

Whipped by my addiction and abnormal obsessions,

Enslaved to my pride and arrogant lessons,

Condemned to the hell that is my anxiety and depression,

Oh how pathetic!

The vivid dreams of a bright future exploded when the fan met the septic,

It's the shit I've accepted,

All the damage I've done....

It's hard to accept it,

So I pray to God for mercy and repentance,

Because I'm unable to keep my soul safe and protected,

I reach out but I feel no connection,

So I desperately beg,

hoping he gets this message.

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