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Thanks for the feedback. I agree a more descriptive title would've allowed for a greater understanding and perception of my poem but I also kind of wanted it to be vague so it could be applied outside of it's specific influence.

I like the rhythm of the poem and the shape of it. The stacked look of the poem helps readers image the stacking of the bodies. Besides the small typo, the only feedback I would give is to come up with a more descriptive title that gives readers a bit more detail since the poem itself is so short. Good job overall!

Happy to help. It was a pleasure to read. And I love hearing that about the title! It worked well in my opinion. I’ll keep an eye out for your posts. I look forward to reading more.

This most detailed analysis of one of my poems that I have read; I thank you for the feed back as it was a joy to read. And regarding the syllables it was meant to be 5,4,4,5. (it should be more clear as I fixed the typo). Also your analysis of the title was absolutely spot on with my thought process.

`Federation`  
	  
*I read through the poem before seeing the title and then rereading … the title adds so much more imagery. This notion of a “federation,” politics, and state power, being such an ugly and often deadly affair as shown in this imagery of this poem, is stellar.*    
  
`Upon bodies high` *- 5*  
  
*I agree with* u/fishforroyalties *here. I think the imagery is solid and sets the stage wonderfully.*  
  
`And lives at stake,` *- 4*  
  
*Lives at stake or “lives on the stake.” The possible double meaning here really reinforces this notion of a heaping pile of bodies starting in the first line.*  
  
`And Man who tries` *- 4*  
  
*Love the Anaphora with “Man who,” and the Alliteration in “Tries” and “Takes” keeps a nice rhythmic tone going with the near rhymes.*  
  
`Isthe man who takes.` *- 4*  
  
*The near rhymes of high/tries and stake/takes keep the verse flowing well. Not sure if “Isthe” was meant to be a single word or if that was a typo. I read it as a

Upon bodies high

And lives at stake,

And Man who tries

Is the man who takes.





https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xon4cc/rediscovery_of_the_ivorybilled_woodpecker/ipzmhoe?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xonne0/home/ipzmdop?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3