Thank you ❤️❤️ I am glad you enjoyed. Really kind of you to comment. It makes it worth sharing.

The title of the poem just caught my eye! Beautiful. 

‘First leaf to color, red on a tree’ ~ just a line that ran the distance for the entire poem for me. 

I also admire, how you made the whole poem so reminiscent in its own way.

Thanks for scribbling.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Yes!! Thank you! Looking forward to reading more of your incredible work.

Belonging to the road- walk my beating words of shame. What a beautiful line. Words that beat like a heart. Annotating your work is a delight!

i LOVE the rhyme scheme here! also love this title... sometimes when the title of one of my poems is a line, especially the opening line, i omit it entirely, just to give it the emphasis and punch it deserves... beautiful work. ⭐️

You are very welcome. Yes it is very awesome to find lines that just hit.

That was perfect for this poem and in that placement. 

Yes I have a lot of work to do. Especially relearning grammar, right words, and most importantly take what's inside me and present it in a way that will resonate with people.

You liked it! Amazing to hear, thank you. I personally love when lines stick out to me. It’s an incredible experience and I am glad to have been able to do that for you. I’ll keep an eye out for your work!

"What have you done with your clock handed life" I fucking love this line.
Such a great poem. You articulate everything so well.
As an amateur, this work stands out.

This style and form are things I hope to reach one day. Excellent writing.

Thank you. I will. Thank you for commenting.

I am in love with this @vincentkate

The imagery swarms my mind and leaves me wanting to read it all over again. I hope you post more of your work.

Not condescending. Not offended at all. No apologies necessary. 

My poetry style is definitely not for you. 🤷‍♀️❤️

arcane | ärkan|
adjective
understood by few; mysterious or secret

spy·glass
/ˈspīˌɡlas/
a small handheld telescope.

It would be massively fun to annotate with you. Cheers!

After reading your reply, I read my comment back and perhaps it could be seen as a bit condescending. This wasn't my intention at all. Apologies, I could have written it a lot better.

Interesting story of the poem, I certainly picked up the themes of autumn which came through really well in the lush imagery. I enjoyed the dying of a season linked with the dying of the sun message. The war and anguish comes through in those first four lines: lines one and four. But having read you explanation, I stand by my feedback, this "memory of the house" and "lingering people" is very obscure. I think it'll be cool to see that more of this, otherwise its very difficult for the reader to extrapolate all that meaning. One of the main problems is that, grammatically, lines two and three aren't coherent and, for me, they don't serve much purpose in a grand scheme of the poem and it would be a lot stronger if edited out.

Hi 

I’m not exploring rhyme here at all. Never my intention when I write poetry. It’s about imagery here. The red leaf of fall is at its end. It’s season of dying. It has lived it’s full life and welcomes it’s breeze of end. This is a war life, and not many come out on the other side saying they welcomed deaths breeze, like this leaf. 

The war I speak of is a memory of the house that stands and no longer holds breathing life. It’s pain lingers. The house and the people there. Linger. 

It’s not about singular lines that are cool.

This is a story of anguish and pain. How some understand and others don’t. How it’s painful to stand in front of a sunset and have it relinquished. The passing moment wasted in war of current thought.

For clarification. I left two separate pieces of feedback on the same post.

This is great and clear to see you enjoy writing.  Clock handed life line is great as well as blade along my full vein, loved those .Although "tree" and "breeze" is a bit 101 poetry, it's nice to see rhyme explored successfully here. I find if I can read a poem without initially noticing the rhyming scheme its a good sign.

It reads enjoyably but the premise of the poem is unclear. The war or conflict at the beginning never gets referenced again apart from the tables of strife. Also lines 2 & 3 are totally over my head. Grammatically and meaningfully, it is extremely obscure. What do they mean? There is nice consonance (G & S) and meter but as it is, I would honestly remove them or edit to make sense to the reader. The poem ties together nicely over the passage of time and the observation of the leaf. This to me is the heart of the poem and not the "war" that is alluded to in the title.

Some of your instagram poems are really good. I read a few and enjoyed the triumpth of trees one a 

There was war that stood here