My Children

“Come on you two! Supper time! No- Millie- good girl! Bobby, quiet!”

They were both so beautiful, wrangling with each other as they came up behind me. Like many siblings, they were very alike but different. They both had silky browny-gold curls which I never tired of running my fingers through and dark innocent eyes.

My precious babies, whom I love more than life.

They were hungry, yapping and sniffing for food. Food was in the basement. We went down.

I had bought Millie and Bobby soon after my daughter told me the date she was moving out. She was going to school in a different city even though our own town has a perfectly fine university. Then my son followed suit.

You’re all I have, I cried. I sacrificed everything -my education, career, dating- for you, to care for you after your father fucked off when you were tiny. Now you’re abandoning me?

I didn’t say that out loud- I had too much pride. I smiled, helping them with loan applications and course selection and furniture.

And I bought the puppies. Millie and Bobby I called them, after one of their favourite actresses, from the last show we had watched together as family. All those shows, all those movie nights, snuggling on the couch together with limitless homemade popcorn. I always made sure we had family fun.

The three of us joked about how Millie and Bobby were replacing my son and daughter. They seemed relieved that I was taking their imminent departure so well, even though I never said anything betraying my real feelings.

They weren’t going anywhere.

“Meal time!” I sang out to Millie and Bobby, just as I used to call out all those years to my son and daughter, as I cooked endlessly.

Now, they were the meal. Their bodies, ground and preserved, nourished Millie and Bobby.

As the puppies eagerly wolfed down their food, I considered the contents of the freezer, running low.

Ding!

My son's phone pinged. I kept their phones charged, occasionally texting their friends and posting fake pictures. I had told everyone the brother and sister had decided to take a gap year in Europe.

It was from my son’s friend, Will. “Hey man I know ur in Italy i left my charger in ur room day b4 u left ur mom ok if i go pick it up?”

I thought about Will, a chunky boy. It would be hard, but with surprise on my side it could be done. I looked at Millie and Bobby, licking their plates clean. My precious fur-babies deserved to have the diet they were used to.

I texted back “Sure np just asked her shes cool home all evening just go whenever”

He texted back 👍

I prepared to greet Will.

“Don’t worry” I murmured, running my hand through Millies and Bobby’s fur which felt exactly like the soft shimmery hair of my children. “Mommy’s gonna get nice food for you”.

Just like I always had.