Anyone had a 'weaponized kindness' type of a narc relationship?

I feel like it's not being talked about enough. All these narcs are so mean and arrogant and for a long time I thought that was the only way a narc can be. But there are those sneaky types that will do everything and anything for you and will put you on a pedestal, will hear you out when you're not feeling well, will show right up when something happens and this can go on for years. I'd even call it a love-bombing that never ends. This person in my life is just like that, they did tons for me and I felt like I owed then a lot. But once I said no to something, then things turned sour.

This helpfulness of theirs was always just this kind thing they do, they said, and if I didn't want it then I had to change because I saw things wrong. I was pushed into being more open under the guise that it was good for me and I didn't know any better and just needed to let it happen. My past trauma was used against me to make a point how my judgement was clouded. And if I tried to raise any issue then somehow it never got addressed and I was the one who ended up apologizing instead.

But on top of that this person had no self reflection, never apologized for anything, never could do anything wrong in their mind and was self praising constantly. They were critical towards everyone and had this scoffing passive aggressive attitude and God forbid someone would make a mistake. But the persona of kindness and helpfulness was so strong that I didn't see any red flags for a long time.

The worst is that this is just my friend, but he made a way to me with this to the point I ended up feeling like I had a boyfriend against my will. I feel like the manipulation was so undercover that I'm now finally waking up after 4 years thinking wtf did just happen to me. The guilt that I ended up feeling was overwhelming but why should I feel guilty for being pushed to accept things that I didn't even want? I am now preparing for backlash from others in this small village once we split our ways, because I don't expect anyone will understand what this is like..