My 12 problems

So I’m looking for a new therapist and in anticipation of this I’ve decided to create a list of my problems. It often feels like there are a million symptoms and issues connecting in a million different ways which makes me confused and despondent, and I wanted to be able to communicate why I’m there clearly.

Here goes:

1. Victim mentality - everything feels personal

2. Anxiety, fear and brittleness - lack of belief in own strength

3. Prey behavior - fawn/freeze/everything is fine

4. Strong inner “yeller at” (inner critic but worse)

5. Takes in a lot of information but feels stuck inside - helplessness

6. Unable to acknowledge severity of own situation

7. Unable to relax

8. A little nervous about the outside world/sudden attacks (even from strangers)

9. Difficulty adopting new concepts/therapy

10. Discontinuity between body and brain - brain feels controlling and problematic

11. Feeling lack of control/at the mercy of others - boundaries and self confidence

12. Lack of stability in thinking about things and situations - tendency to overwhelm self and drop the subject

I’m posting it here because as I wrote them down, it made me realize that almost all of them pop up now because they weren’t allowed to in my childhood/adolescence. And that I’m not at all the strong, doubtless, self-assured, unrockable person I keep thinking and projecting myself to be. I just needed to be that in order to survive somewhat intact before.