Does the emptiness ever go away?

The lack of identity? The constant questioning? The pointless reflecting? Even when I’m not in a major depressive episode, it’s just under the surface. The worthlessness, the shame, the lack of a self. How can I live until a natural death with all of this on my mind? When relationships in my life take precedent, I find purpose and value but I can’t just distract myself forever. And y’all know just how precarious relationships are when you’re borderline.