Rough times (tw: medical details)

Hi,

I've been lurking and responding to comments on this thread the past two weeks. I had a MMC this past week and took misoprostol. I was 8 weeks preggo but baby stopped growing at 6 weeks ish. The sac still grew, but this past Tues, there was no longer a heartbeat.

I wasn't sure I ever wanted kids, and when I found out I was pregnant (we weren't not trying) it took a week or two to be excited. I feel like the taking of misoprostol has been by far the worst part. I can accept that sometimes miscarriages happen. But here I am, five days after, feeling bloated, sad, crampy and still with a lot of flow coming out. Its cruel. I feel like its just cruel. Because even though I wasn't sure about this baby, I knew I wanted them, and suddenly our family doesn't feel complete.

On top of it, my best friend is going through IVF detailing every detail of her procedures and asking for good thoughts and prayers. She checks in with me, but its hard to constantly respond "I'm not doing great."

I'm sad. I'm not great. And I don't know when it will get better.