wow I can't thank you enough for this, made me think a lot about the poem itself and the headspace I was in when I wrote it, but I definitely agree that playing on that final stanza more would be better

This piece is dripping with angst, and piques my curiosity. You've built intrigue around "it" - do you mean continuing your life? your relationship with this person? I think this ambiguity is a big source of power in this piece. I'm interested in the third stanza, when you move from "wish I could tell you I'm doing well" to "be your shoulder...make you whole." As if the step of caring for yourself is the non-option, and true care is being a support for "you." The repetition is an effective anchor. My one critique is the ending; I like the shift in meter, but the last two lines leave me wanting more of the previous intrigue instead of a cold close.

I fully enjoyed this poem, I think it’s delicate and beautifully written. I like the way that it starts with ambiguity yet the reader can assume the subject. The last two lines of the first stanza compliment the rest of the poem nicely. “I wish I could tell you it’s not an option” was a great opening line and certainly leaves me wondering the context of your writing, which is a job well done :)

exactly what I was going for, glad it came through in my writing :)

this is very relateable. i love the light personification of the leaves. it implies how in a dark place, it can feel like even nature is against you.

thankyou so much I appreciate you saying that :)

This is really heart touching 🥺
Pure feelings explicit words! 
To be honest i lack words for appreciating your strength behind these words🫂

can't thank you enough for saying that, I don't have a lot of confidence but it's comments like these that make me want to write more

One of the far better pieces I’ve seen on this sub.  Most people just write what they are thinking and you allude to it so people think for themselves which is what good poetry does.   I wish I could tell you is a beautiful opener and consistency.  The imagery of the leaves recoiling is excellent.  The ending was a little blunt for me after all the lyricism of the first three stanzas.  You are certainly a talented writer.


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    I wish I could tell you it's not an option,
    That my mind never goes there,
    But I layed down today,
    And even the leaves would not take me,
    They recoiled as though I were a burden

    I wish I could tell you it's not an option,
    But today I yearned,
    To no longer hurt those I love,
    For an end,
    For closure

    I wish I could tell you I'm doing well,
    That I could be your shoulder,
    That I could make you whole,
    But the truth is far from it

    I don't deserve you,
    Or anyone else

    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xtvp3z/death_x_3/iqwc5iy?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xtxuyr/you/iqwcf8v?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

I Wish I Could Tell You It's Not An Option