Laborious Lucidity

Since you’ve gone

I’ve walked the ends of my heart

Carrying a torch along the way

In an attempt to burn out the pain

I’ve had many one night stands

Some turning into more than once

In an attempt to forget your gentle face

I’ve sipped many bottles

Downed many more

In an attempt to fill the gap your persona left behind

I’ve bought many pills

Swallowed or sniffed them all

In an attempt to numb myself to your pictures

They still hang on my crowded walls

Yet I still look at them

Imagining what you would tell me

Maybe that I look like hell

Maybe that I should care about myself

Maybe to stop cutting myself

I’ve done all these things

Striving to labor myself into thoughtlessness

Whilst not enjoying the fruits to accompany it

And at the end of the day

I’m still hugging my pillow

And wishing for your company again

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