dopamine dreamin (first poem)

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if i could love you, i would

but i can't

I love the way you move, the way you're shaped, the way your eyes constellate

if i could love you, i would

but i can't

when i'm with you, i think of all the love you deserve, then i think of my nerve, you gave me the affection that i yearned for so deeply, and i gave you an infliction, yet you still stood by me, like you thought you were meant to

if i could love you, i would

but i can't

i tell myself that you're a strong girl, that you'll move on, but because of me you've always come back to our dream, hoping to find something for which you can cling

if i could love you i would

but i can't

i wan't you to enjoy your life, because it's bright, beautiful, and full of smiles, and it shouldn't be ruined by anyone, much less a guy

in the end however, we are both dopamine dreamers, wishing for something that we never truly need.