i don't want to admit it but i think she's right

Baby wake up
sry i stayed uncool when u started smoking
I stayed kid-short when you were on drugs
1 elongated yell of my name & it's over
(julyy!!)
You refuse to talk to me now&it's ok

It feels like I've been manually trying 2 make things go right lately & it isn't working
I've been ignoring the glow-in-the-dark stars on my empty closet & making seasonal crafts
I've been coming out and studying, journaling and fucking flossing.

I don't know
Why or how my face has changed
I can't stand the scraping of metal on ceramic-
Anymore.
(get up & leave the dinner table.)
Something that always stuck to me: "Why should my consciousness continue?"
(after-death.) (Growing old is like becoming a kid again, death is adult swim time, waiting impatiently in the heat for the cool blue again forever.)

I changed my name,
& I annotate books for the first time.

Baby wake up
it's ok now.

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( 1 & 2 )