Short, simple. I dig it. Did a melody to it: [https://soundcloud.com/user-907418533-377333511/can-i-get-by-usentimental\_nihilist](https://soundcloud.com/user-907418533-377333511/can-i-get-by-usentimental_nihilist)

&#x200B;

Keep writing!


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

You are definitely right about the exhaustion. I've doubled the length now and reading it as a whole, I thought of your comment and realized how true it is. I wasn't thinking of it when I wrote it, you caught it before I did. The other things are more metaphorical, but very much as you say in their spirit.

There's a lot of exhaustion in this poem. I feel like the speaker feels they are giving a lot but not getting the reciprocation they need and feel they deserve. The terms "time off" and "compensation" make me think the speaker works a pretty demanding job and wants some unconditional understanding and love rather than fights from a loved one.

Thanks. 

"Shall" has been stuck in my mind for a long time since I heard about a Colorado case where the SCOTUS protected the police from lawsuit when they refused to arrest a man who kidnapped his own children after their mother reported it. 

He murdered all three of them. Had the police arrested him immediately after the report, they would be alive. 

SCOTUS decided that the word "shall" meant action was not obligatory and they did not violate the law.

I forcefully intend the ambiguity of "shall". ;)

I like this. I think the simplicity and vagueness works well. I'm trying to think of a critique because they're a little bit obligatory in circles like this but nothing comes to me immediately. 

You might find it worth reconsidering why you use the word "shall" instead of "will", which delivers the statement with more force and intent

Can i get some understanding

Can i get some love tonight

Can i get some notwithstanding

Can i get without a fight

I shall have the resting time off

I shall have the compensation

I shall have no need to scoff

I shall have reciprocation

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y36pkr/staccato_affection/is74gds?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y28ht4/the_things_we_bought_in_gift_shops_to_drink_from/is7580n?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

can I get...?