Source
r/OCPoetry•
writingbox

Sleep.

Poem

In winter we sleep.

I’m dreading you, biting vicious cold.

My hope dissolves with the seasons,

My happiness sets with the sun.

Oh winter, Give me back to summer

Let Spring saturate me like glitter,

drape my arms with her warm rays

Trudge back to your bleak mornings and stolen light

Where you snatch my dusk and drag him into days

A season consumed by everlasting night.

. . . .

I like this because I can relate to it right now. Simple and honest. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y6qokl/my_bubble/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Another relatable one. These words gripped me, I feel the despair. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y6muk5/escaping_the_season/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Posted Oct 18, 2022, 10:26 AM UTC

35
risinginloveeee•

I love this! I love how you personified the seasons, bringing them to life. I loved the imagery especially where you ask spring to wrap you in glitter. I imagined sparkling warm sunlight around me. Something we all can relate to, as the weather chills. Well done!

2
writingboxOP•

Thankyou so much! :)

1
DavidJU82•

This is a simple concept done exceptionally creatively and elegantly.

The line with spring is my favorite. My only complaint is the punctuation seems inconsistent. The first half starts in sentence form, then it varies around the 7th line, where it loses most punctuation till the last line even though the lines could be expressed as individual thoughts.

Overall though I really enjoyed, keep it up.

2
writingboxOP•

Thanks for your comment! I’m quite new to poetry, so your words are really encouraging :)

1
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1