>what do the trees know of me –

The rhetorical question posed twice in this poem sets the tone as rather cynical. It also mentions "me," which leads to a few thoughts about the speaker. Why pose this sentiment to the trees? Perhaps the speaker is often in the natural world, and sees them as an uncaring entity.

&#x200B;

>of the dead  
>  
>seasons^(1). the lavender has lost  
>  
>its purple^(2)	        the tomatoes have deflated  
>  
>into nothing^(3)		the leaves leave  
>  
>their mothers rot^(4)	        a velvet path

The dreary loss of their natural attributes serves well to demonstrate what exactly the "dead seasons" are.^(1) Lavender having "lost its purple" is easy enough to understand, after all!^(2) However, I feel "into nothing" doesn't quite make sense in the same way for tomatoes. While imagining their round shape being removed *does* make them lose their identity, it may be redundant with the other lines, having been reduced completely  - being deflated seemed enough to

Beautiful. You are a gift.
It's difficult to conjure up this style of poetry without heavily studying other poets. However, I suspect you always wrote this wonderfully to begin with :)


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

I'm new to this sub, also kinda new to poetry. But so far yours is my favorite. i'ma sucker for darkness

really glad I came across this gem in my first look! all in all, I've had much less trouble than usual finding good poems to comment on this week.

you could really do better for a title than simply repeating the first line. the title should cut a new facet on the poem.

I quite like the dead seasons. The tomatoes deflating is unintentionally comedic—I think of a whoopee cushion. the leaves leave is a little tired, and their mothers rot is just melodramatic. a velvet path brined in lambs' blood? I could get with the velvet path, but what does lambs' blood have to do with anything? the slaughter of the young, of spring?

The I am learning of phrasing is awkward. shutting his clasp? who's he? god? clasping a shawl shut?

the two references to god are completely mystifying, but very poetic. I love the pearl rind and the bared sea—how unquestionably innovative.

small, into the dirt, though, is a return to traveled ground, and also ungrammatical. 

who is the you here? the one and only men