Purge

Fat lump of coal in my stomach;

worn membranes stain carbon black. 

Metabolism throbs like a smokeless fire, 

famished, beating against my senses

like a stubborn child. 

​

Oh—to be pure! 

​

Acids baptize me, 

and I pull on my habit with divine fervor. 

I have ascended now:

Seraphim awaits with disciplined gaze. 

​

But honed hooks fasten, mutilate—

skinning me like a rare rabbit. 

They pull down, down;

white caps explode each other

while bottomless abyss swallows me whole.

​

Ugly fish mock at me:

my new companions wither 

at my pulled-apart mouth.

I cannot speak or laugh or sing,

tongue wagging against cruel

currents that fling me into shapeless space.

​

Down, down, down;

I am polluted by merciless thoughts. 

​

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Comment 2

EDIT: thank you to u/residentdrugaddict for their excellent feedback. I changed “white caps lick at me” to “white caps explode each other” as well as “hooks pull at me” to “hooks fasten, mutilate” to avoid unintentional redundancy.

EDIT 2: thank you to u/byrondude for their excellent feedback as well. I have excised some words for more succinct syntax and to further reduce redundancy. Also, I used their suggestion of the adjective “carbon”.