Source
r/OCPoetry•
Crossroadsfare

Old in the morning

Poem

Tired and weak, I spend moments
empty of forethought turning a gear
crunching, groaning, cogs wind
ever on between increasingly deaf ears
wood songs like stale elevator music
mark the dying of youthful dreams.
There might have been or might not
some truth to pallid imaginings.
A soft red tongue licking honey off the comb
glittering silver scales of light flicking river waft
Beneath the pads of fur and claws
breaking amber glass leaves cast from above.
A sputtering moan alerts the world.
Coffee is done, the mountain wood is no more
No king wrapped in bear skin
Only the winter vanguard remains
with frigid banners rising
threatening a long cold sleep.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9lmh0/a_winter_in_stockholm/it7vbp2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y9204g/new_macondo/it7wg1r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Posted Oct 21, 2022, 4:05 PM UTC

96
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1
FisherOfBitches•

This poem is fantastic, I just...haha I'm old so I was like "this is a poem from a fellow old person" but then no, this is about ...a cat I think? Or dog? or a bear? actually "honey off the comb", that's absolutely bearlike

some people demand that every word be translatable, that the poet must provide a skeleton key. But not I! if everything in a poem can be converted to 'plain english' then why not write that I always figure! So I ...I don't know why coffee is done, I don't know wht is making the sputtering moan, but I know when I read this I felt sympathy and (as an old creature myself) empathy.

This is solid, just solid. Keep writing! I will be looking for more of your stuff. these are GREAT WORDS.

If I had a suggestion maybe add some spaced lines so it's not a dense BLOCK of text. But then again I might add too many spaces so discard my advice at will

1
CrossroadsfareOP•

Thank you so much! It always makes me happy to hear that some of the strange energy that inspires my writing is not only conveyed but appreciated!

2
TheStranger333•

At times I could relate to it, at times I feel like I have been the imaginer of creatures in the woods. and regularly the stillness of a morning can and does remind me of the life punctuated by death. My interpretation my not be accurate l, but it is to me. thanks for showing your spirit

1
CrossroadsfareOP•

Thank you for reading, and your interpretation!

1
poetrythrowaway169•

I love this poem, reading it out loud the rhythm of it really pushed the imagery onto me without giving me enough time to think about it (I too was empty of forethought!). I really was taken into the fantasy there with the subject of the poem. Life is a struggle, always threatening to end or fall apart, and our fantasies sustain us. That’s what I got from it anyway.

1