My clinic is really great with so many things. But our recent egg retrieval resulted in 0 blasts and my follow up with the doctor isn’t until the end of November! No one has reached out and I feel like I’m wearing the dunce cap and I’m back at the bottom of the list to get their services. I’m 36 and I don’t have the luxury of months to waste. So disheartening!
Posted Oct 24, 2022, 8:00 PM UTC
I’m 42 next month and haven’t lost hope. Call and speak with one of your ivf nurses! Someone should be able to get you on for at least a virtual “next steps” consult way sooner. Is there a PA at your clinic that you can see as well? (They’re ALWAYS available wayyy before docs…)
To be honest, all the statistics get published so I personally think either subconsciously (or maybe even on purpose) they don’t really treat the difficult cases very welcomingly
That’s awful. Ugh! Do we think that’s the case?? I mean, do we think that’s maybe accurate tbh?
Idk I’m a fairly straightforward case and my clinic treats me horribly too, i feel like this whole industry is so corrupt. You just have to be shameless and go Karen on them. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. If I need a response on something I call them daily, sometimes multiple times a day (depending on urgency) until they get it right. It feels awful and adversarial but I’ve been to multiple clinics and as far as I can tell they all operate the same way, basically do the bare minimum unless patients ask.
Yeah they always take days to respond to any message or question.
I feel like a number. I didn’t realize you only see the actual doctor maybe once (and a different one does your egg retrieval), then a rotation of different nurses on the phone, then for check-ins there’s not a nurse. No they don’t need a nurse— it’s just a (terrible) phlebotomist, and an ultrasound tech. Who are both like maybe 20, and probably already tired of their jobs lol. And you have to wait in line basically every time. Can take an hour each visit. Alllll for $18,000+ Ugh lol
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I feel you.
After my surgery to remove polyps, I had to wait until my next cycle to prep for my ERA cycle. I notified them and seemed like I was in a holding pattern just waiting for them to give me more information or to schedule a call...Meanwhile, someone I follow on Instagram who goes to the same clinic as me was glowing about her multiple updates she was being given and her timeline for such and such. I called the clinic, again, almost in tears, about how I was not being given anything in regards to next steps, which is all I wanted, meanwhile this other women, seemingly was being given it all...They finally got back to me a couple of days after the 2nd call.
Also, after my first 2 ER's, it took about 3-4 weeks for a follow-up with my Dr - it was disheartening. I just wanted answers and next steps. My first cycle was a bust - 0 blasts, too.
It’s not a competition and you are far from a reject. I find that those with some of the toughest fertility challenges the nurses and doctor’s are really rooting for you. Hang in there and empathize with you — this is not fun. Stay encouraged. I think you have to wait at least 30 days before doing another cycle at least at my clinic. Sending you prayers and positive energy.
Unfortunately I feel like the clinic I'm at treats everyone like that. They're completely desensitized to the client experience and they can come off as extremely cold and uncaring. I had something similar happen when my first ER was a bust, but I later found out the doctor they wanted me to see was the one that owned the practice, thus the delay in scheduling (he was booked for weeks.) It was at appointment he told me I'd ovulated during my stims and says the only thing that was left were junk eggs. 😶 Junk eggs he said... They still made embryos but he wasn't surprised none of them made it .. well I was!
He said that! Oh no! I would’ve lost my ish! You’re eggs are not “junk”!
After all the waiting for the appointment I was actually relieved that it wasn't a scary talk about me having terrible egg quality and needing donor eggs, but I was still shocked, sure.
As someone who had two retrievals with no normals (we PGT tested due my my elderly age) I added a prime with Omnitrope and bam I had normals.
I’m not sure where you are in your journey, but if your considering trying your eggs another time, I highly recommend.
Thank you. I'll look into that.
Yes! I moved clinics after my third failed round for this very reason. Our first clinic, lovely as they were, kept me on the same drugs, same protocols each time and I knew another lady having IVF at the same clinic. May have been a coincidence but we were given the same protocol, same meds, even same dosages!
When we had our final follow up, they kept suggesting we use donor sperm. I know many people go down this route and it would be something I’d be willing to consider in the future IF and WHEN it was appropriate but I just felt that they were giving us the ‘easiest’ option VERY prematurely. I questioned the embryologist about sperm selection methods to get a response of “we don’t use sperm selection methods”. My husband has had consistently borderline SA results and high DNA fragmentation. His highest count per ml was 37mil/ml and lowest 19mil/ml. I’m not a medical professional by any means but I couldn’t and still cannot wrap my head around them telling us donor sperm was the next step. I know his concentration isn’t the highest but to me, there’s got to be a way to find the “good” sperm. They didn’t even so much as suggest attempting the likes of zymot etc. Thank goodness for Google and of course Reddit!
Luckily our new clinic have been great so far. They’ve completely changed our protocol and medication. We will be using zymot this round and if this does not succeed, husband will be having an SSR to hopefully extract the “best” sperm.
I don’t know if you’re near another clinic, but maybe have a conversation with a new place. You never know.
I finally feel like we’re being treated as individuals and not numbers.
Most of the people at my clinic are great, but sometimes the level of care is just really lacking. One example…I was told to bring my partner with me to one appointment, so I did. When they called my name, he walked back with me. We then got a lecture from the nurse about how she wasn’t supposed to allow partners back but that she would this one time. I told her the message in the portal specifically said to bring my partner with me. Then while I was emptying my bladder, my husband said another nurse came and stood right in front of him, put her hands on her hips, stared at him for a while, sighed, and walked away. She was the nurse that then did my ultrasound, and she gave us another lecture about how partners aren’t allowed back for ultrasounds. I told her, “well, we’re new to this clinic. We just transferred from Clinic X, so I don’t know all the rules here yet. And y’all sent me a message in the portal saying to bring my partner to this appointment, so that’s what I did.”
I just hate that they made US feel like we were the ones breaking the rules! They could’ve politely told us while we were in the waiting room that partners can wait there if that’s the protocol. Don’t bring us both back and then make us feel bad!
With my first clinic I was treated horribly. My first ER landed me in the emergency room twice until we figured out the doctor (not mine) who performed the ER nicked my ureter and bent it, causing urine to back up in my kidney which caused severe pain. After the surgery to fix it my doctor told me it wasn’t them that caused it. I mean, no one else was up there so it was them, but they didn’t want to admit it. That ER resulted in no normal embryos.
Tried again and….no normals. Talked to my doctor and asked if we could try a different protocol and he flat out said no. Said my eggs were bad and we needed donors or else he wouldn’t perform another ER on me.
I switched clinics and had a successful ER. 2 high quality embryos ready for transfer! All my new doctor did was take me off bc for that cycle and it worked.
I really felt like at my first clinic, if you weren’t a cut and dry easy case they didn’t want to deal with you. Even my new RE says how much she disagrees with the way my old RE handles patients. And she confided in me a lot of her patients come from him because they’re so unhappy with their treatment.
So I completed my cycle and my follow up with my doctor isn’t until mid November but we keep in touch through the portal and I get my questions answered with a 2 hour window
Sorry to hear about your outcome on the egg retrieval. My first ER resulted in 0 blasts also, and I was devastated. I honestly did not do any research or know enough to even think that was a possibility. My follow up took weeks as well, but when I had reached out my dr said they needed time to review my case. Basically (at my clinic) they have all the dr's sit down to review cases (I would think cases like ours, where we had 0 results) to gather everyone's input and come up with a next steps plan. For me, they added in Zymote & calcium ionophore (sp?) to my second retrieval, which resulted in 3 blasts. Hopefully the same is happening at your clinic - I felt better once I realized they were taking the time to get additional sets of eyes and ideas on our case. Sending you big hugs!!
That does make me feel better. I wish they’d just explain it. I messaged the nurses so hopefully they’ll be able to give me some big picture/timeline answers. Thanks so much for sharing!! Sticky thoughts for your sweet embabies.