Dust (To what's left of my love)

They say there is a Creator
And they made you from dust
Molded you into your form
And breathed life into you
But, then why did that life fade away so quickly?
And how was I able to reverse it all in a moment?
Send you back to just dust?

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I listened to your heart until it was too tired to keep going and had to rest
I kissed your lips until the muscles could no longer reciprocate
I rubbed your head the way you liked even though you had lost your ability to sense touch
And I watched the air refuse to be pulled through your nose
Watched curiously as the chest that was once my pillow no longer rhythmically rise and fell

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It was so strange and alien to see your essence that used to never be still
Suddenly go silent
And then I turned you into dust
I turned you into dust again
When I said I wanted to keep you forever -this isn't what I meant

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I thought had no power - I thought I am no God
So how was I able to reverse it all?
I turned you into dust
So shouldn't I be able to turn you back?
Mold your form, just as you were?
Breathe life into you again, from the air in my lungs and the love we used to share?
Why do I only have the power to deconstruct?
Why was I given this power at all?

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I don't think you were molded by a creator
I don't think it was that easy
You were too complicated, too obstinate, too idiosyncratic for this ingrained world
Too full of life for life itself, each year lived twice as loud
So, you were stricken from this land
This world was just too cruel for lovers like us
But you forgot to take me with you

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Now, the left side of the bed is frozen solid
My right hand forgot how to intertwine
My heart has never beat the same
Since I turned you into dust

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I didn't want to, but I had no other choice

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Now I carry a part of you around my neck
And in a jar up on my shelf
I still talk to you, but you never respond
Without a mouth and larynx, dust cannot speak
I wonder if you try to, anyway.

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Can you ever forgive me?
I'll never give up trying
If I could turn you one way, surely it could back the other way
I could create you again
I could build you with my eyes closed
Now, no one knows the shape of your body better than I do
Knows the curves and cracks and perfections and flaws
No one loved them more than I do
I could build you anew!

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But my powers only seem to work one way
And if you did once have a Creator, then they no longer want to cooperate
If they were ever there at all
My darling, I'd love you in any form

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But I just can't leave you as dust

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Death's Silence

Nimrod