[Serious] What can realistically be done to support the growing number of lonely and frustrated young men so that they feel valued and won't be tempted by radicalization pipelines?
Posted Oct 26, 2022, 4:49 PM UTC
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[deleted]
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You can't. They feed on attempts at "support"; it's essentially narcissistic supply to them. All you can do is ramp up the pressure on them to grow up.
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I strongly disagree and doubt that will work
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It might not, but nothing else will.
Actually, I take that back. Trauma might work. But I don't think that's the kind of thing you're looking for.
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Honestly I think it's been pretty well demonstrated your method is actively harmful
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The opposite, really. They didn't become a problem until about 10-20 years after pressure to grow started dropping big-time. By the mid-2000s the first of this wave were hitting adulthood, but the seeds were sown sooner than that. They didn't have to grow, so they didn't bother.
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Late to the party but this is the answer that needs to be seen but won’t. I support this because something all of those men have in common is they blame others for their problems. “Oh this girl doesn’t like me because I don’t look like some other guy that is also the devil because he dare be conventionally attractive.” It’s never “oh no she doesn’t like me, I wonder what it is about me that she found off putting.”
The religious and incels have a lot in common…rather than doing things because they’re good, they do good things in hope of a reward. That’s where the phrase “Nice Guy” comes from. Guys who get upset when they’re rebuffed because they feel they deserve it because they were nice. If someone isn’t interested, move on, find someone else.
The minute you show compassion, they latch on. They find people like themselves, and it turns into an echo chamber. Thousands of men who think the problem is with society, not them. So they never look at the real issue, and it’s not appearance. It’s not interests. It’s attitude and outlook. Coincidentally, dudes like this tend to consume a lot of porn and so have skewed views in social and sexual relationships.
To answer OP’s question, I guess to those men I’d say either fix your attitude or die alone. Get some mental help.
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[deleted]
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Well, two points: First of all, think about the last time you were angry, doesn't matter if it was angry at your partner or your boss or your co-worker or the person who took your coffee order. WHY were you angry? Usually it's because you think you were entitled to something that the person didn't give you: Respect or thoughtfulness or consideration, mostly.
These men are angry because they see messages from society telling them they are entitled to things like a relationship with a woman of their choosing, with little or no actual effort on their part. So they get angry at "females" who aren't giving them the attention they think they deserve, and they get angry at the "chads/normies" who they think are taking away what is rightfully theirs.
And obviously the example I gave above is for the incel/MGTOW types but you can likely apply that kind of anger to almost any radical group that can be whipped into anger by the leaders of said group pointing to another group and saying "the reason you don't have what you deserve is because THAT GROUP OVER THERE is keeping you from having it!"
My second point is that the reason radical viewpoints are attractive to such men is that it promises an easy solution to these difficult issues. Indeed, that's the attraction of ALL radical theories of society, they promise a quick and easy solution to the intractable problems of humanity that we've been wrangling with for ~ 10,000 years or more.
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I have no idea but it is becoming a big problem. These men get radicalized and become a danger to society. Maybe more regulation of extremism online? I see it on reddit all the time.
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There are very real solutions, but realistically implimenting them isn't very, well, realistic. Not because they're difficult or challenging in themselves, but because it would require a modern day soceity obsessed with its own self-righteousness to realize that it's made somevery massive, very harmful changes in the last 30 some years that have resulted in an unusual number of men feeling the way they currently do. So, in short, we'd need to change the current culture, which should lead to a change of institutions, which would in turn lead to less lonely and frustrated men, and happier men and women overall.
I would be very interested in hearing the changes made over the last 30 years that have resulted in men feeling this way.