The Truth

I loved those big scary monsters

They loved me back.

They made my skin flush,

And I wanted to crawl out of it, most of the time.

I fed off the guilt,

A new strain of hunger.

We both sought after the disgustingness of it all.

I felt it and felt it and felt it

until it knocked me the hell out

and when I came back...

I was on the other side.

I’m the monster now

Oh,

This is what it felt like for them.

I break her into two, mind and body

And I want to put both in a jar on a shelf.

A collection.

This is mine now.

This is the monster's hand around her throat.

This is the boy you turned into,

that you have been turning into

this whole time.

This is the boy, and the hidden girl, the victim, the predator and its prey, and the criminal, and the evil god who isn't real but must have done this to you, looking at each other,

all just looking at each other,

looking around, all wide eyed and crazy.

that's you,

that's what you are, now.

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