I haven’t written poetry in five years since my AP Literature class, but here’s a poem I wrote last night. Maybe it’s more a poetic amalgamation of my thoughts, but I would truly appreciate feedback!

Masks

I wish we could learn side-by-side

How to care for each other

Without hurting ourselves in the process.

I have my own problems and I knew

That you had your own and yet

I felt we were stable enough to start something

Together.

What a nice, beautiful, horrific lie.

A lie that has made me feel

Happier than I ever knew one could be

Yet in more pain than I knew I could take.

A lie I would gladly tell myself again

And the only lie I feel was ever worth telling.

I feel my own pain but when I see you in yours,

Concern numbs my struggle while I struggle

To discern how to help you feel

“Normal”.

I hate it when they tell me about their

Stupid oxygen masks because

How do we know that you don’t need

That oxygen much more than I do?

What if in putting on my own,

I doom you to suffocation when

Had I simply held my breathe I could have saved us

Both?

I’d rather die saving you than have to

Watch you die in front of me.

And they say that isn’t healthy but

Neither is watching the person you care for

More than anything in this world suffer and

Worrying about your own pain.

I wish you could see that I see you drowning

And when I jump in to save you,

You don’t drown me to save yourself.

You couldn’t even if you wanted to.

For when I’m helping those I care about?

Nothing can hold me down, not even

You.

I once felt that I wouldn’t change anything

About who you are or what happened to you

But that was selfish of me.

Because I love who you are now,

Suffering and all, and maybe I’m afraid

That without our suffering we wouldn’t have

Found each other.

I take it back. If I could go back and change

What hurt you, I would, even if it meant

I wouldn’t ever get to know you.

After all, who am I to say that I’m okay

With the things that have happened to you?

I told you that you’re strong

For the things you’ve gone through but

That’s not what you want

To hear or even to be.

You don’t want strength, you want

Peace.

And I don’t know how to give it to you.

I don’t know what to do to help.

I don’t know how to make it better.

Because we may talk every day

And we may laugh and play

Our games and drink the night away,

But at the end of the day

You’re still an ocean away

On an entirely different

Continent.

I tell you I want to come to you,

But you’re afraid that in finding you,

I’ll lose myself. But that’s how I know

That I could never lose any decent

Part of me when trying to become

A part of you. Even if I wanted to?

You wouldn’t let me.

I don’t need your strength or smile,

I don’t need your pretending

That things are okay when they aren’t,

I just need to know that even when

Things are at rock bottom

That we still have the one thing

That we promised we’ll always have.

That we’ll still have our

Love.

And I can’t pretend to know the answers,

Or have any idea what you’re going through,

Or share with you an understanding of what

I’m going through myself, but

Since when was that the point?

Who needs to know what we’re feeling?

Who cares what exactly it is that we feel?

All that matters is that we do feel,

And that we have someone there,

Who will be there, no matter

What the feelings are.

Someone to stand by us

Always.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ye4jpb/i_am_the_shoreline/itvvzbb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ye3dyj/the_fools_cycle/itvwpu7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3