I completely agree with dragons8m. Simple and interesting topic

I appreciate your kind words! And the pun lol I'm so glad to hear that my decision on choosing simplicity over excess, in this case, works in its favor. I very often write about mental health subjects and similar topics so if you enjoy this piece then I hope you will also be able to connect with more of my future ones as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! Happy Halloween and happy writing

I really like this! The message is pretty dark, pun intended :)
I think the simplicity of the poem gives a beautifulness to the profound deep ness of the message. I wouldn’t change the length at all.

Hi all! In Honor of Halloween, I decided to create this piece titled *I Sleep With the Lights On*. A short poem that tells the true reason of what our subject is really afraid of - their own "monsters" in their head. The words *dark* and *monsters* are purposely repeated to show how they can be both physical and psychological. Being trapped in your head can be as frightening, or more so, than anything we encounter in our lives. Thank you all for reading. Keep your head lifted high and know that you always have people here to support you in life. 

Happy Halloween and happy writing!

Thank you so much! I had written more, perhaps close to twice as much as the finished piece here, but I negated the rest in hopes that the simplicity would be more effective as opposed to painting a larger scene. I wanted the message to be simple - dark and monsters - and purposely repeat those words in order to show the literal connection of how they can be both physical and psychological. Thank you again, my friend.

Such a deep message portrayed in so few words. Well done

Thank you for commenting! A simple, yet profound message, in my opinion. I feel as though the end does have some sadness, as it's a real statement rooted within many of us out there. Appreciate your kind words and happy writing!

Love this poem! The length really helps here since the meaning (to me) is simple ,but complex in how it gives you something to think about. Also the end almost comes in like a punch line ,but a more sad not funny way.

Much love for your comment 😊 Thank you. Sometimes simple can be just as powerful, imo. I appreciate your kind words and hope you'll enjoy some of my future work as much as this. Happy writing, my friend!

Omg I love this!!! How magnificent and powerful simplicity can be <3

I usually think of what I think of at night, and write about it in the morning if I remember it even I wake up.

If that isn't me in a nutshell. I swear 2:00am is both a comfort and grief time for me. I'm a night owl at heart who is always up then, but that often causes issues like thinking far too much while the world sleeps..
Thanks for your comment!

Ah i do love a little bit of internal strife. 2:00 AM thinkers, rise up!

You nailed it!! This is exactly what i was going for and why I chose to edit it to the way you see it now. The transition from thibgs we were often scared of as kids to the "adult" version of being afraid in the last line is something I'm so glad you picked up on. Thank you and happy writing!

Short, hits hard and gives you no time to think, just as though real problems were surrounding you already. Great imagery, makes me feel childish and feel the adult problems at the same time!

I appreciate you taking the time to comment! You exactly got what I was going for with your second line there. While only a few lines, it can really transport us through a lot of past memories as kids all the way up to current ones struggling with internal demons. Happy writing!

I like the originality of this, I could relate in a way as a kid, that feeling of not wanting to turn the lights off. You portrayed that in an adult way, how the scariest demons are those within us. Thank you for sharing

I really like the message here, where it is acknowledging something about one's perception of their internal tensions and the very real manifestations this has in one's physical environment and preferences. 

I also would like to suggest something a bit artistic in the context of the dichotomy of light and dark, the sole of such polar opposites unavoidable and absolutely certain that emerge from experiencing life as we do with day and night.

**Remember we cannot know light without the dark, just the same you cannot know yourself without becoming very deeply comfortable with the darker half of your character.**

You can try to contain and isolate that darker half, but that will inflame it self-righteously and in an indignation of thermonuclear combustion potential that will precede it taking full control of you for periods of your life. It will manifest itself in some form, these can vary from mental states that seem sickly all the way to stark contrast between one's values privately a

Very nice work, keep posting buddy. 
 Personally I prefer to sleep with my lights off because it gives me the impression no one can see me and I don't exist

Very interesting idea! Could definitely turn into something like that. I'll have to think about that now lol thank you so much!

Very short and direct. I really do quite like it. Though I wonder if there's a bit of development in order? Mayhaps you could elaborate on what specific monsters lie deep in your mind? This would be in a series of future poems of course, not just this one. This one is fantastic as is. 

Thanks for sharing :)

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and for your suggestions 😊

I really like the length. I think there's a tendency to get caught up in writing and make things too long, I know I do that a lot, so this is a good reminder for me. It's got a lot of meaning packed into a just a couple of short tight lines. Since the tightness is a key part of this poem, there are a couple of words that I think you could even remove (it works great as is, this is just my two cents).

&#x200B;

I sleep with the lights on

Not because I'm afraid of the dark

Or ~~of~~ monsters under my bed

I sleep with the lights on

Because my own monsters are ~~already~~ dark enough.

&#x200B;

I think "already" is actually fine in there, but I feel like the poem flows better and keeps the tightness throughout if you get rid of the "of" in the third line. 

Anyway, hopefully I didn't over step. Great work!


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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Much love! Thank you! I hope you enjoy my future work as much as you have with this one. Happy writing, my friend!

Short, concise, and dark. A great little piece, very neat!

I think the concept is good, but maybe you could lean into it a little less bluntly? The last line is a bit heavy handed.

The simplicity speaks it all, I like it :) The last line really have readers to think about it

Short and good! Good poems aren't necessarily 40 stanzas!

I sleep with the lights on


Not because I'm afraid of the dark


Or of monsters under my bed


I sleep with the lights on


Because my own monsters are already dark enough.

.

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