Ke Ha'ule Kaosi (The Falling of the Leaves)

Taken from my creative writing blog. Context is that this is a translation of a ballad retelling the myth of how winter came to be. The main character, Aollica, is a wind god, and in almost all other retellings is portrayed as the villain.

Links to previous feedback One and Two.

The Falling of the Leaves

An old woman stood on a ridge in the rain,
Looking out as she braced under gusts of the cold.
She saw to the east the vast kingdom's domain,
And to its south, the Lone Forest which glistened like gold.

She is Aollica, Gardener of Winds,
And she sees before her what what alone saw:
A danger which at the old kingdom begins,
And that is because she has seen it before.

When she was a child, she happily played,
Ha'anele Ruaku, a village, is where she resided.
But she grew scared of what to the south swayed:
Trees, which grew closer each day, while unguided.

Her family had laughed and said she should be gleeful;
The god of the forest was noble and fair!
More of his trees would not be any evil.
And Aollica, laughed at, felt they did not care.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever lonely;
Ever since childhood, distrusted and scorned.
No wonder you grew to stay by yourself only,
When even your loved ones would leave you ignored.
Perhaps if they treated you fair as a kid,
You never would need to have done what you did.
Still, you had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

One day the village was changed when she woke;
Root, tree, and rock had through each building grown.
But worst was what came unto the village folk:
Aollica found them now frozen as stone.

A voice from behind greeted her in the street.
There stood a man, handsome, his skin a bright lime.
His chest had been sculpted, his hair short and neat,
And from horns on his head there hung silver wind chimes.

He called himself Kone'ehwuica, and spoke with a fervour:
He was god of the forest; she should not be scared.
He told her that he was not going to hurt her,
And he seemed so sincere she was almost ensnared.

He walked up towards her, and tall did he loom,
And reached out a hand to Aollica's shoulder.
But Aollica bolted! Away from her doom,
Away from the village, alone to grow older.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever tortured,
But the suff'ring you faced, it would not be in vain.
You were only a child, alone, scared, and cornered,
When he took it all and let nothing remain.
Grief is what had you set out on your deed,
How could you know where it one day would lead?
You had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

On that ridge passed decades as Aollica bided,
Towns being consumed in an endless attrition.
But now it was time, for she had decided,
To save the kingdom — her ultimate mission.

The roads were exhausting, but she yet survived,
League after league, remaining steadfast.
In Kahulehulele Ani, at last she arrived:
City of Mirrors, the kingdom's vain heart.

In the hall of the king she arrived after days,
And in the throne room, above her, there sat a blonde man.
And though he seemed absent as at his mirror he gazed,
King Kahio'anica held power in his hand.

Of the danger that choked out his kingdom she spoke,
But spoke also of a plan to avoid such a loss:
With a great wind she'd vanquish the forest with one stroke,
But it may cause great damage in bringing a frost.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever patient;
Plain as you brought your proposal to bear.
But you could have been kinder with your dry dictation;
For you spoke of famine like you didn't care.
Your bluntness may've been what tore your plan apart,
Or maybe you hadn't a chance from the start.
Still you had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

Only after she spoke did Kahio turn around,
And he spoke just so slowly, like he relished the sound.
He called her a lying, disgusting, old worm.
The forest was beautiful and of no concern.

He claimed that Aollica insulted his name,
By suggesting that he was not fitting to rule.
"She just wants to make us all starve," he proclaimed.
"Let her be banished! Away with the fool!"

So by the arms was Aollica bound.
Though she hung her head low, she was silent, inert.
Outside the gates, she was thrown to the ground,
And they slammed them behind her, now banished, and hurt.

With eyes wet she bit the inside of her mouth.
She knew not what do, yet she took a deep breath.
Stumbling on, she then stepped to the south,
Where the forest then waited, offering death.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever hated;
They called you evil and named you a villain.
And though you stayed quiet, you deeply frustrated,
For you sought to save them yet they would not listen.
With the beauty of him all too charmed were those folk,
They would not consider a word that you spoke!
No, you had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

Knowing that she could not do this alone,
She went between towns asking them for their aid.
But every time, away she was thrown,
Like when she was a child, laughed and distained,

With every step south hatred's all she could hear,
'Til she stood then before where his forest now grew.
Alone, now unable to bite back her tears,
She found herself questioning what she should do:

For all but her thought his forest to be harmless!
And should she now do it, they all would so hate her.
She'd wanted to help, yet they'd think her heartless;
"The turncoat who starved us in malice, a traitor".

But if she now turned tail and fled,
It is sure that the kingdom the forest would swallow!
Every last child by his hand would be dead;
Innocent people turned cold and left hollow.

There's naught else to do, she proclaimed to herself!
Even if her name would never be mourned,
She must give herself up; do all she can to help.
So she stood up, determined, To death she was sworn.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever stoic;
Despite all your struggles you still persevered.
You decided to do what was truly heroic,
To sacrifice all yet be never revered.
This final choice is all what it came down to,
But no-one should blame you for what you had chose.
Because you had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

Lead by mended resolve into that which she dreaded,
Through verdant woodlands of people now gone,
Aollica knew not where she was now headed,
But the path then felt true, and so she pushed on.

Until she stumbled on something familiar,
A statue, seemingly made of stone;
Looking up at her was a human figure,
For she now stood in the ruins of her home.

Again a cold voice greeted her from behind,
And Aollica turned, saw his face as he smiled.
"Hello." he said, his voice sharp in her mind,
And she felt like she was once again a scared child.

Though her will wavered, she stood and stayed sure.
"Kone'ehwuica," she spoke, and put fist to the sky,
"Too many you've hurt; I won't let you hurt more."
And around her the leaves rose to flutter and fly.

​

Oh Aollica, you were ever mighty;
With one foul motion, you sundered the forest:
Leaves turning red swirled from trees in a blizzard,
As Kone'ehwuica looked on in terror, and withered.
No man alive has since seen you appear,
But the frost you created now echoes each year.
Though you had no choice in the crime you committed,
You're now remembered forever for it.

​

Oh Aollica, you were never honoured;
Through ages past you were cast as the villain:
The wicked demon who murdered a forest,
Who brought in the frost and invented a season.
You knew what you, through your sacrifice, sold,
But how tragic it's been how your story's retold,
Because you had no choice in the crime you committed,
Yet you're now remembered forever for it.

​

You're now remembered forever for it.