Day 3 going on 4 of not drinking

I’ve been lurking here for a bit but haven’t actually posted just out of fear of admitting I have a problem. I’ve read so many success stories that it’s motivated me to better myself.

I’ve been drinking almost daily or weekly since I was 20 and I’m now 32. I never thought I had a problem until my marriage started hitting rock bottom and I’ve tried stopping several times but I kept failing to stay sober for longer than 5 days.

My goal is to get sober and stay sober for my wife and kids but mostly for myself because I hate the man I am when I drink. I’m angry and bitter and when I’m not drinking I’m depressed and anxious. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat much and have no desire to do anything.

Some encouragement goes a long way but my wife is not on my support side at the moment because we’re currently separated so I have no one to lean on (distanced myself from my friends because they all drink) during this journey.

What all do y’all do to pass the time? Any good books or podcasts to listen to so I can pass the time alone?