Source
r/coparenting•
TiredGamer0990

Ex demanding mental health assessment for me

Just like the title says, I was diagnosed with depression and put in antidepressants for a long time (because of my relationship and all the BS that came along with it)

I am now separated, happy, unmedicated and still in therapy (working on non-relationship issues now). I never thought I was depressed but that's what the doctor said so I took the meds.

I went off the antidepressants a couple months after my separation, and have been doing great with the help of my therapist as well. I also had an assessment done with a government mental health agency and reviewed by a psychiatrist (or psychologist whichever it was) and cleared.

My ex is now demanding I provide her with the assessment and I remain on my medication. Nothing in our paperwork mentions it,

Is that a thing?

Posted Nov 4, 2022, 1:26 AM UTC

614
izzzy12k•

Unless they get a judge in court to agree, they cannot tell you anything about your treatment and/or what prescription drugs you consume.

To me, it sounds like a power move and looking to control you and tell you how to live your life.

19
TiredGamer0990OP•

Thank you, there have been a few "power moves" since we separated and I'm honestly just confused about what I actually need to do and what she's telling me I need to do all the time.

5
Prineak•

Time to go the parallel parenting route I’d say.

Document all of these interactions. This sounds like early gaslighting.

5
TiredGamer0990OP•

Oh I document everything, and this is late game gaslighting lol

2
HockeyMom0919•

If they go get a court order then yeah, you have to do it. If they are just asking for one, tough luck. So I would just reiterate what you said here (that you have taken appropriate steps) and just keep saying that and be firm.

2
TiredGamer0990OP•

Thank you, yeah no court order at all just her asking for it and being annoying. I'm glad it's not a regular thing

1
JayPlenty24•

A judge forced my ex to provide a mental health assessment. When I originally asked the judge said no, but then my ex used his mental health as an excuse for something and so the judge changed their mind.

My ex has way more issues than you and has a history of violence. If your issue is situational depression, which is very common, I don’t see why a judge would demand that.

Since your assessment says you are clear of depression you might want to just provide it as it would prove your ex to be incorrect in their concerns. I would ask your lawyer first though because providing it might open you up for having to provide updates.

2
TiredGamer0990OP•

Yeah I've never had a mental health issue before my marriage, but I was cheated on multiple times and just felt like I was stuck and waiting for it just to be over.

I'm separated now and everything's done a 180° mood-wise, and my ex keeps trying to bring me back down into it so she feels better I guess. I usually just ignore her but I figured I'd check if it was a normal thing or not

1
JayPlenty24•

If the assessment specifically mentions that your ex impacted your mental health so significantly you needed medication that might actually work in your favour. Your lawyer can use it to prove emotional abuse that is ongoing.

1
TiredGamer0990OP•

I don't think it specifically mentions it, but we did land on me having an adjustment disorder episode because of my ex messing around and me just pushing it down

1
princessblowhole•

Nope, not a thing.

Don't do a single thing that isn't mentioned in your court order if you're not comfortable with it. If the other parent has an issue, they can contact an attorney, who will tell them they have to get a court-ordered assessment done that costs thousands of dollars, filing a motion/waiting for a court date, and the judge isn't gonna agree to it anyway because your depression is managed and you're not a danger to your child.

Applies to other situations as well. If you have an order, go by the order. Your ex doesn't get to dictate things outside of that.

2
TiredGamer0990OP•

Thank you, that's what I wanted to hear and how I've been playing it. She threatens things all the time and I ignore her and nothing happens

2
princessblowhole•

Yeah I recently got my order finalized and it's been great to respond to things with "you and your attorney have my attorney's contact info"

...with a bunch of petty emojis if I'm in a bad mood. Working on that in therapy lol.

2
TiredGamer0990OP•

Oh man lol one day I'll experience that zen. The thumbs up emoji has been very popular on my phone

2