1 - your relationship was doomed from the start because none of it was real It was all transactional.. She glommed on to you for some reason in that reason was to serve her only.. It had nothing to do with you and there was nothing you can do that would have fixed it there's nothing you can do that would bring it back and even if you could bring it back you would be right back into this s*** show. The relationship is the trigger
2 .. do the Russian purge It didn't happen delete every evidence and every reminder of anything she's ever done for you or any gift she's ever given to you or any photograph of her delete it permanently.. there is zero utility in keeping any keepsake of a mentally disturbed person. They are your abuser why do you want to keep a memento of your abuser. They abused you for their pleasure for their benefit so the only thing you can do is cut them loose. BPD relationships are like emotional rape. The coercion into caring for them against your will and then they'd cut you loose at the drop of a hat..
3 - Yes it sucks and you're going to have a hard time processing it for a long time because borderline personality disorder relationships are an emotional cancer. They weaponize empathy so you feel bad for them and when you're feeling bad for them you care for them which is not the same thing.. That's how they fast track you into getting involved with them is making you feel bad for them It's very unhealthy.. so use this time to figure out what it was about them that got you pulled in so quickly.. aside from the love bombing in future faking perhaps they were vulnerable and you had a parent that was vulnerable or something reminiscent of your childhood
Take that information and bring it to a therapist so you can work through healing whatever dysfunctional family dynamic you experience growing up that made you vulnerable to these types of people.
I know professional therapists who actually hate dealing with borderliners because they are so difficult and so subversive. Of course they tell me off the record.. any do enjoy getting paid.. but they do find border lines to be exhausting..
One psychologist friend told me that she knows she was dealing with a borderline is even if she's had a good conversation with them that when they leave they feel exhausted and relieved.
Cluster B's are no joke.. be grateful you got out before you got financially and biologically entangled with them for the rest of your life..
This is just a blip in anyone you meet from now on is going to be way better in the real terms than that borderline
she just walked right up to me, started talking, and we hit it off.
Guess it was just too good to be true!
I had something similar in that she just made it really easy to be with her... She was always available wanted to hang out.. I too felt it was too good to be true as I had felt I had met the perfect person for me..
1 - your relationship was doomed from the start because none of it was real It was all transactional.. She glommed on to you for some reason in that reason was to serve her only.. It had nothing to do with you and there was nothing you can do that would have fixed it there's nothing you can do that would bring it back and even if you could bring it back you would be right back into this s*** show. The relationship is the trigger
2 .. do the Russian purge It didn't happen delete every evidence and every reminder of anything she's ever done for you or any gift she's ever given to you or any photograph of her delete it permanently.. there is zero utility in keeping any keepsake of a mentally disturbed person. They are your abuser why do you want to keep a memento of your abuser. They abused you for their pleasure for their benefit so the only thing you can do is cut them loose. BPD relationships are like emotional rape. The coercion into caring for them against your will and then they'd cut you loose at the drop of a hat..
3 - Yes it sucks and you're going to have a hard time processing it for a long time because borderline personality disorder relationships are an emotional cancer. They weaponize empathy so you feel bad for them and when you're feeling bad for them you care for them which is not the same thing.. That's how they fast track you into getting involved with them is making you feel bad for them It's very unhealthy.. so use this time to figure out what it was about them that got you pulled in so quickly.. aside from the love bombing in future faking perhaps they were vulnerable and you had a parent that was vulnerable or something reminiscent of your childhood
Take that information and bring it to a therapist so you can work through healing whatever dysfunctional family dynamic you experience growing up that made you vulnerable to these types of people.
I know professional therapists who actually hate dealing with borderliners because they are so difficult and so subversive. Of course they tell me off the record.. any do enjoy getting paid.. but they do find border lines to be exhausting..
One psychologist friend told me that she knows she was dealing with a borderline is even if she's had a good conversation with them that when they leave they feel exhausted and relieved.
Cluster B's are no joke.. be grateful you got out before you got financially and biologically entangled with them for the rest of your life..
This is just a blip in anyone you meet from now on is going to be way better in the real terms than that borderline
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I had something similar in that she just made it really easy to be with her... She was always available wanted to hang out.. I too felt it was too good to be true as I had felt I had met the perfect person for me..
But it was all an act.