Help me help my Wife find a comfortable bra!

Spoiler

I am sorry if this is out of place, but I am a desperate husband looking to help my wife not be in so much pain.

My wife is curvy but not obese. When we got married she was wearing something like a Olga Wire-Free bralette, size XL. She was complaining of shoulder and neck pain, so I suggested she maybe needed a bra fit, so they suggested she wear a 40DD. So for the last year she has been wearing a Vanity Fair back shaping wireless bra. The cups fit decent, however there is a lot on the sides (and back, if thats possible?) that is not encapsulated by the cups. The straps appear to be indenting quite a bit in the shoulders, and it appears to be where most of the pain is radiating from, if that is possible.

From my research, it appears that most of the support should come from the band, and with larger cup sizes the only way to affectively get that support, is to use a wire. My wife has historically not liked wired bras, because 1) they are uncomfortable and don’t stay put. 2) most of them are heavily padded and she feels like she pops out the top. She also doesn’t like unlined, for fear of nipping out.

She appears to be full on bottom, and wide set. They also point outwards and there is an inch or two between the breasts where the gore would sit.

Is it wrong of me to assume that the underwire is the way to go? Or am I out of place? Also it would appear that she needs a wide wire?

Her measurements are as follows

Loose Underbust -41 Snug Underbust - 39.5 to 40 Tight Underbust - 37.5

Standing Bust - 47.5 Leaning Bust - 49 Laying bust - 50

According to the calculator it appears to be a 38G in UK sizing. I have ordered several Panache, Freya and Elomi bras to try on (UK sizes 38F through 40G)

Please help me if you would be willing? I love my wife dearly and just want her to not be in pain, and maybe feel good about herself in a bra. She deserves it

TIA

PS - are there any “Sexy/Fun” bras with good support? She always mentions that the only bras she’s can find at Kohls are black, white and beige.

Posted Nov 4, 2022, 1:32 AM UTC

2110
MySocialAlt"like a bra angel"•

At 38G UK, she will get better support from a wire. It seems like you've done your research and are on the right track. Feel free to come back once she's tried on her haul!

"Sexy/Fun" is so individual, but here are a few I like that come in her size:

https://www.elomilingerie.com/uk/en/lingerie/bras/plunge-bras/matilda-uw-plunge-bra/p/el8900dsy

https://www.panache-lingerie.com/us/shop/product/clara-full-cup/colour-black-fig

https://www.freyalingerie.com/uk/en/lingerie/bras/side-support-bras/offbeat-uw-side-support-bra/p/aa5451mrn

21
One_Handle2196OP•

Thanks so much. My wife likes your style!

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MySocialAlt"like a bra angel"•

Thank you! The Elomi Matilda (first pic) fits a lot of shapes well and has interesting colorways every season. The Daisy is one of my favorites, though.

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Morningsunshine-•

Can’t give you any advise other than keep up your great support.

17
sclark1029•

I tell my only good bra this everyday.

15
the_bravangelist•

Good job hubby! She is going to feel amazing in her 38G! The seamed UK bras are going to be so much more supportive and comfortable than the molded bras she has been wearing.

Keep in mind that the calculator is a starting point and may need tweaking. The calculator gave me a 38HH, but the 38 was too loose and so I ended up in a 36JJ.

Those of us who have a little extra "squish" around our ribcage sometimes need a smaller band to accommodate that! If she feels like the band is riding up, try going down in the band and up in the cup.

For sexy lingerie there is lots of inspo on Instagram. Have her check out Fuller Bust Inspo (plus size) and Fuller Bust Bestie (thin, but lots of sexy lingerie in large cup sizes)!

9

You’ve gotten great advice so far. Just wanted to jump in and say I felt the same way about non-padded/moulded bras and I found that wearing an undershirt or bralette over the bra takes care of any “nipple anxiety.” Or they also make little silicone sticker things to basically tape them down that she could wear under the bra.

It did take some adjustment to get used to the feel of the underwire and thinner fabric, but the better support is worth it. If the wire is poking, it doesn’t fit right and she should keep trying.

5
soupfeminazi32H/HH•

For more sexy/fun bras, you two should go browse Playful Promises! You can also check out Brastop, which sells Scantilly (the Curvy Kate sexy lingerie line)

3
AnImproversation•

As a 38G myself she for sure needs an underwire for any hope of support, even swimsuits I have to get underwire. Her poor experience with underwires are probably poor quality bras. I would look for lined bras, or “t-shirt” bras. Usually there is not really padding but a thin layer of coverage. Pour Moi is my go to brand for sexy in my size so i’d start there. Their bodysuits fit me well, for refrance I usually wear size large top and size 16-18 bottoms. This is their latest releases. That is the US based website but it’s in UK sizes. They also have a UK based website if needed. Also amazing job being a supportive husband!

1
One_Handle2196OP•

My wife is excited to hear someone her size that has found cute things! Thanks!

1