my (20f) best internet friend turned boyfriend (22m) ended it with me. the distance wasn’t too much until it was, after about 2 years and 4 months of this kind of love.

i don’t know how to even begin not being in love with him. it’s been about two years and 4 months, with plans to close the distance from the beginning. but, from my understanding is that he’s just not capable of not being with me in person like this. he thought he was, i believe. we’ve always had an off again, on again relationship/friendship online, but we fell in real love with each other. i spent 6 weeks living with him last year, and it was beautiful and now i’m just sobbing because we were so damn good together, and we can have that again. he’s still in love with me, and i am with him, but he’s ended it. this feels worse than if he had just ended it because i failed or wasn’t enough for him, and im having a hard time understanding that it’s not that. god i’m sobbing now. i knew a relationship like this would be hard, but i wholeheartedly believe that if we’re in love and we want to be together, we will be. but he doesn’t think he is capable of continuing like this, that he’ll even make it without an end in near sight. i was prepared to work for this until we had it, and he was too. but it’s too much, and if his reality is he’s not strong enough to do it i don’t want him to suffer. but it just doesn’t make sense to be in love and just cut off the possibility of the future from even ever beginning. it sounds so cliche typing it out like this. i wish i could’ve seen this sooner — i’ve never been felt crushed like this in my life. we are still going to be in each other’s life, we always have, but even though nothing will change immediately, the entire future has. i was going to be with him. i had no delusions about it being easy, but it feels like we’re just giving up on the best thing we could have. i don’t understand and this pain is so awful and raw and awful and it feels like it doesn’t have to be. i feel awful that i couldn’t have done anything to change or prevent this, even though i believe i could have. i’m so confused and i love him so much and i’m fucking wailing right now. i don’t know how i’m supposed to start being truly apart from him.