My dad does not know the true extent of abuse my mom put me and my sister through

Recently while visiting my dad and step mom, I came to the realization that my father has no idea how bad my mom truly was to me and my sisters. I mean, how could he know unless one of us told him?

Short background: parents got divorced, mom got main custody, mom convinced me and my twin that my dad was evil, mom abused drugs and was mentally/emotionally/sometimes physically abusive to us.

My mom did some really horrific things, many of which people do not believe me. My mom once held me by the throat against a wall, would not let me cry if I was upset, convinced me to let go of friends, and chose to do drugs over loving her children.

I once expressed my desire to kill myself to my mom. Her response? “An attitude like that is why you don’t have friends.” That statement is something that still haunts me to this day.

Luckily, I saw through my moms lies and realized that my dad is not evil at all. He was trying his best during a hard time, and I regret letting my mom convince me otherwise. I even apologized to my dad for being so awful last time I saw him in person (we live in different states). Apologizing to him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m proud of myself for doing so.

I realized that my dad has no idea how horrible my mom was. And I’m going to keep it that way. My dad already has so many regrets in his life, I think if he knew how bad it was, it would crush his spirit.

Sometimes, it’s ok if someone doesn’t know the truth.