22M; I might die soon.

22M; I've always struggled with anxiety and depression, but it's reached a fever pitch as of late- I'm under a lot of stress, and my health and relationships have both been suffering for it. I had a situation recently where I hurt a good friend of mine; it was genuinely a misunderstanding, and I had no ill intent, but my actions caused harm. I accepted full responsibility when I realized that my friend had been hurt and I apologized profusely, but it looks like this is a friendship I've lost for good, and it's my fault (DM if you want more details on that).

While this isn't the only reason I've gotten to this point, it has me thinking back- thinking back to lies I've told, promises I've broken, other people I've hurt. I do my best to be a good person, but I keep screwing up; I realize that everyone screws up from time to time, but I think I do it more than the average person. I know people tell you things like "It'll get better", but honestly, even after extensive therapy, I don't see a world where things get better; in fact, they seem likely to get even worse. Even if things were to get better, I don't think I would deserve it. I'm poison.

I feel like the best thing for everyone would be for me to disappear forever. I've never quite been able to work up the guts though. Maybe this time it'll be different.

If anyone's got time/energy tonight, shoot me a message; I could use someone to talk to about this stuff.