Ooooooof I know this longing well. You captured wanting romance and love singularly. The imagery in the line "A silhouette shining under my sheets," is evocative. Nice work.

WAA THANK YOU WINWIDNWAKnaksb❤️❤️

ohhfiuhufhsdhf i love this!!!! i love love love this so much. i relate completely. 

it's really quite beautiful the rhyme scheme you did here. it pulled me in from the first stanza and throughout the end. i also liked how the title is the end of the poem. i usually have trouble finding a title that goes with what im writing about but this was perfectly done. 

i liked the spacing of it too. it seemed like it told a story and i really liked that!

Lovely poem, think you captured that beautiful feeling of loving someone gently. That gentle consistent kind of love, not that intense painful love so much poetry is often about.

Im not quite experienced and understanding unfortunately 😮‍💨😮‍💨 but the rest is on point! 

I love simplicity in poetry, its fun to take poems apart, but being autistic its easier to just give the point that i want to express. Thank you so much for your comment it really makes me happy that you enjoyed it ❤️❤️❤️

If only love and all the various things associated with the concept were this easy and simple.  I prefer the simplicity of your approach - an almost longing for a past that was constantly inundated by things and associates who really don't matter.

Maybe this is just a mature form of love that is experienced once someone understands who they are.  

Fun piece - thank you for sharing.


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“Matrimony too? Theres always a catch- even more physical take on this.” That part 😅

Matrimony too? There's always a catch. Might read Denise Levertov's Losing Track for an even more physical take on this. Coherent poem, not an everyday occurence here.

What a beautiful poem, something I have learned the hard way, is that not everyone has an eternal love, so “Someone who will stay” makes me feel everything I have gone through at once. So if you can find someone with everlasting love, treasure them. As your poem has caressed my mind, caress the body of your future lover even when your time nears its end.

Explaining how my brain worked to make this lol:

(“Is someone who could love me with no fright” is supposes to be one line but it doesnt fit as well on reddit as my journal. )

I was going for less of a perfect poetry vibe and more of a train of thought, feelings that are just spilling out. so its definitely uneven and kinda weird you are correct.

Fright means what it means, someone who can love without holding back, being afraid. I could use a better word to describe “fright” but i like simplicity and keeping words as they are in itself, not searching for big words to replace them. Just saying it as it feels.

Shining silhouette was on purpose, not to be literal like a glowing shadow or anything,  but just to give it emphasis :)

Thank you for your input its really appreciated!! ❤️❤️❤️:)

It's a relatable poem and the ideas are expressed with a pleasant simplicity, but the meter sounds broken to me.

The line lengths are all over the place and there are some attempts at making the meter sort of consistent but it isn't really

For example:

>What i want the most (5)

>Is what most people say. (6)

>I want someone to hold me close, (8)

>Someone who will stay. (5)

That last line just sounds off. You have to slow down "someone" too much to get "stay" to hit in the same time-window as "say."

>I want cool hands (4)

>that slowly slink around my waist. (8)

>Cool full lips that smile at me (7)

>Ready to touch and taste. (6)

Like I said, all over the place. The imagery of cool hands slowly slinking is nice... cool full lips is nice too. "ready to touch and taste," however, kind of sounds like a forced-rhyme. But it's not *that* bad.

>What i want the most 

>Is someone who could love me-

>with no fright.

>A silhouette shining under my sheets,

>My partner in day and nigh