thank you so much for actually taking the time, and for even wanting to research it further!!!

You gave me a false sense of security in the first line and then hooked my attention in the second. Nicely done.

I was going to have to look up liriopes, but then you saved me.

For those like me aware of narcissism but unaware of narcissus:  
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus\_(mythology)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology))

This poem is really beautiful and evocative. I love the imagery of the sun whipping the man's back and digging craters into the moon. The fusion of the poet's blood with the man's heart is also a really powerful image.

i really try to give a visual (and other senses) experience with my poems so i’m happy you felt that!

Really enjoyed this poem. The meaning is married to the imagery and this creates context for me. Well done.

i’m glad you picked up on the violence in my poem. i tried to not make it too obvious

I like the mid-way transition from the interaction of nature with his body, to the interaction of the author with the body. Also kind of like the violent imagery. Love is violent isn't it?


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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my original greek version:

πρόσωπο του νάρκισσου

δίπλα του άγρια άνθη λιριόπης

ο ήλιος μαστίγωνε την πλάτη του

και έσκαβε λακούβες της σελήνης σε αυτήν

οι καμπύλες με την αιχμηρότητα του

το λιωμένο γυαλί με την σάρκα του

η ένωση μου με το πρόσωπο του

το βλέμμα μου στα μάτια του

το αίμα μου στην καρδιά του

wild liriopes next to him

the sun is whipping his back

digging craters of the moon in it

        

the curves with his sharpness

the melted glass with his flesh

my fusion with his face

my look inside his eyes

             
my blood inside his heart
   
    
   

I wrote this poem originally in greek. But I translated it to upload here!
I will put the original greek in a comment.
      
Also liriopes are a flower and their name in greek (Λιριόπη) means: face of the narcissus, hence the title.
      
    
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ypdv5s/vestige/ivj6mc4/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/yp9zlb/weathered/ivj6wze/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3