I am every woman in America

I feel sick.

It’s the kind of sick where everything starts feeling like you’re dying.

Kidneys shutting down,

liver turns to shit,

my eyes are constantly having spasms, because I no longer can sleep at night.

Because all I can hear are the voices of people I tried to forget about.

Those I’ve left behind.

My head constantly aches and my body feels limp.

I was staring at my knees earlier and noticed that I’m beginning to get deep indentations above both of my knees where the fatty part of the thigh meets the joint of the knee, except there’s not a lot of fat left on my legs anymore because I have began to only eat one meal each day.

I think it has been working.

It makes me feel better I think.

Sometimes I feel nauseous like I’m going to throw up in cars and just the slightest bit of movement causes this feeling, because I’ve been so busy trying to live an incredibly still life.

But that’s why I am sick I do believe.

It’s because I haven’t moved in days, months, years, has it been years, now?

I have lost track of any sense of time because I keep the curtains drawn.

I take supplements and drugs now for just about everything.

I think you’d be proud.

My bones are breaking more easily each day and I have lost nearly all muscle mass.

My doctor said this is normal.

This happens to every woman in America.

My eyes grow heavier each day and my family is okay with this.

I am okay with this.

I started chewing bubblegum at night.

It tastes like cinnamon but it doesn’t feel like gum in my mouth. It feels like it’s stretching and expanding in my mouth and it feels rough, like my mouth is a cave, and I am waiting for it to be excavated by a crew of men who are going to tear it a part.

I look at my ceiling fan and I sink into my bed and the fan becomes more and more distant as I sink.

It almost feels easier to not breathe.

My fingers are moving so quickly as I do believe that I am running out of time.

I feel like the drugs have stopped working.

Or maybe they are. Everything feels harsh.

I am nothing.

I am nothing.

But my doctor says it is normal.

I am every woman in America.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/y94o6j/to_my_uncle_who_took_me_home_at_3_am/ivtkitt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

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