I realised I still had a massive high school crush.

So… Not too long ago some friends stayed over at my house (for now we will call them Joseph and Adrian), I’ve known both of them for 7-8 years now they are both m20 almost identical twins, and I am m19, for as long as I can recall in my secondary school life I have liked and had a crush on Joseph, we started off as friends and eventually I began to realise I was gay/bisexual for them. Joseph and Adrian had a friend called Marianne who attended our school. I was also friends with Marianne at the time. In secondary school I got outted by her and she had then told Joseph that I was in love with him. After many years of rebuilding this relationship with Joseph they and their family eventually moved away across country. This was my first step in healing our relationship I would say, but to no avail…

Fast forwarding until 22nd of October 2022 they both came down and visited all their old friends, myself included, and had decided to stay at my house for the time they were down to visit. And on the 29th of October me and Joseph had just cuddled and engaged in some fun after an eventful night in a city nearby where I live. Up until that night I had only seen Joseph as a friend (because I was outted and wanted to maintain the friendly relationship we still had left) but after that every feeling that I had bottled deep down just erupted straight in my face and I had begun to like Joseph again. For all this time I thought that Hoseph was straight and that it would never work out between us, but that night just confused me so much. It pretty much “reset” my sexuality and feelings. Upon realising the next morning what had happened I started to realise that this crush I’ve hust reignitedwas pure and concentrated. All I could think about what Joseph and nothing else for up until when I’m writing this. I will probably still like him for the foreseeable future but then again I do also want an actual relationship, and not a fake one.

So my question to Reddit is… how on earth do I either get rid of these feelings for Joseph so that I can move on, or how do I find a way to accept it and do something about it?