Going to a 30 day treatment center tomorrow.

TW: suicide

I attempted suicide last Sunday. My wife and amazing in laws coordinated and paid for me to go to a longer term facility out of state. It is not cheap (I asked not to be told a number because guilt but it’s in the tens of thousands of dollars) and, while my in laws can afford it, I’m wracked with guilt.

Im exited to get real help - been fighting this disease unsuccessfully for 20 years. Im also scared of being so far from home, guilty they’re spending so much money on me, and horrified that what at the time I thought was a favor for my wife was actually incredibly traumatic.

I want to make this worth it. I want to work through the things I haven’t been able to. I can never financially repay my in laws, but I want to at least be able to show them how much it means to me.

Is there anything I should know about these programs that will help start me off on a good foot? It’s mental health based/not a dual MH-substance abuse program if that matters. 12 step stuff is culty IMO and I hate it.