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I think the premise of your poem is very good, and I like the repetition usage. I think that you could make more use of the in between lines to convey more of your story though. I don't really feel like you've conveyed a lot outside of the main statement.

Maybe try focusing on why you wish you weren't sober, and when you find your main reason, expand on that a bit more in your poem. It feels currently like some of the lines are just filler, and whilst the simplicity of the imagery makes for a very clear to understand read, it hasn't left you a lot to work with in terms of conveying your story.

Why can't we just not be sober?