Thank you so much for your feedback! The smoke screen idea is interesting, I didn't really consider it. I will try and add some more imagery though as I do love imagery and I think it's really fun to play around with.

I think this is great! It paints this parasocial relationship and brings the reader into the fantasy of the writer. I like how the smoke from a fired gun feels kind of ominous and smoke imagery immediately brings my mind to the idea of a smoke screen. I wonder if you could play with more imagery that kind of hints at the gaze and the love as being an illusion as well as being illusive.

I'm sorry you're currently experiencing this, OP, I hope everything works out for you 🤗 Keep writing!

Thank you for your feedback! Yeah this one is inspired by actual feelings I have, I find that it makes poetry and writing much easier when you're able to relate to it like that. It's such a lonely feeling and so hard to let go of the hope. I'm really glad that you like it as it's the first poem that I've published in some way :)

You captured the yearning, the delusion, and the subsequent pain that comes with that delusion being shattered when you're in a parasocial relationship with someone. There's an inherent loneliness to admiring someone from afar without them even being aware of your existence and I love how you wrote about it.


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I felt your gaze