[1516] Leave

Hello RDR! I had the pleasure of participating in the Halloween competition with this story, and while I didn't technically place, I did edge in as an honorable mention. One of the organizers expressed curiosity at what RDR would think of the piece, since it was (reportedly) a little divisive among the judges - which is almost as interesting to me as if it had magically swept the vote.

Since I've been posting some critiques on this board here and there (hopefully they've been helpful), I figured I'd use my accumulated words and get some detailed feedback from y'all. This is my first submission to the board.

I have little intention of revisiting this particular story for edits and revisions - rather, my primary interest is to see how well my instincts carried me in writing the piece (this was a one-draft effort, with light editing afterward), and how I can approach future projects, both long and short, with a keener eye for my own storytelling.

So as usual, nothing is off-limits; I'm curious both as to what does and doesn't work for you. Thank you in advance. Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EQATq8qV8RWJQKZRGoN2oUYRm6MpdOkX

Here is my critique: 2158