Thank you! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the rhythm, thought hard about this one, you’re absolutely right! I may edit this off of Reddit, I sincerely appreciate your feedback.

I liked how the poem captures the feelings of loneliness, and how it gets harder with age. I also liked the rhymes. My only criticism is that the last stanza kind of throws off the rhythm and pattern you established in the previous 3. Then again, I'm just a beginner so take my criticism with a grain of salt. Overall I liked it!


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I feel so alone and out of place  
Time passes by and I’m unworthy of it’s grace  
Judgement falls around wounds that cannot heal  
Shielding the fate of hurt without reveal  

Darkness becomes a notion  
Sadness concocts a permanent potion  
Cries fade in to the distance  
While their assumptions seal all resistance  

Lies embody the protection  
Gone are thoughts of my affection  
Bones begin to wither and age  
Now crumpled alone on a quiet stage  

A broken heart only lasts so long
Accepting past and present wrongs
Without all truth one cannot see
Destruction remaining that now belongs to me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/z5gvy4/turning_grey/ixxnpjl/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/z5q1ig/resilience/ixxoa99/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Alone