It is a beautiful piece, however there are some suggestions I have. First, not using afghan to what I assume you are implying to be some king of blanket. Also, the image of stars falling like hail feels violent, but there context tells me it may not be. Perhaps, using snow or some other more gentle icy imagery. Overall amazing work. I felt something reading this one.

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I think the sentiments expressed in your poem are beautiful and you used good word choice and imagery to evoke an emotion in the reader.  All of that was well done.

My critique is a structural one.  As a reader, I have a hard time with poems employing a lot of line breaks and sentence fragments like this.  A lot of the line breaks aren't really necessary here, in my opinion.

I would suggest taking all of the line breaks out and reading the poem back to yourself in sentence form, then put the line breaks back in and try to read it down the page.  See how much harder it is to read with the line breaks included?  It makes the reader have to start and stop a lot of additional times.

Which is fine, if that's what you want the reader to do.  I'm not saying line breaks are bad all the time.  They're very necessary, but IMO whenever a poet uses one there should be a good reason to justify interrupting the flow of the reader like that.

Is every line break necessary for some purpos


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Between Dreams and Reality