[944] A Good Man With A Borrowed Gun

My critique: 1864

My short story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EuTi6pcJm8bFau2GHS6Z-rsOp-CwkLTtSKUTuoj_e94/edit?usp=sharing

CW: Blood/gore, death.

I wrote this for a short story contest which limited length at 1,500 words. This is my 8th draft. I've already submitted it (don't decide to enter a short story contest 4 days before the deadline, folks).

This is the absolute best I can do without detailed feedback. Naturally, now I want detailed feedback.