My grandparents are acusing me, a 19 year old man of being a winker and it is completely destroying me
I have been crying for almost 3 hours straight bc of this. I moved in with my grandparents in august bc it is near the college and the job i work on and they accepted to welcome me, we were always really close. My grandpa in special always was a father to me, i started messing with computers bc i always saw him do the same, i got into IT bc of him. He was always an example for my life, more than my biological father that is always around taking care of other women's children instead of me. The fact that he is my adoptive grandpa makes it even "worse", he married my granny after she had my dad and my uncle, so they never got to have a baby of their own, but they always had me. For this fact my grandpa was always a father figure to me. But recently, he, and my granny have been picking on me, saying that im too fat, which is true but i just started going to the gym for 2 months and i swear i give all of me to get thinner, but it takes time all my family's men are overweight by nature. Then comes the fact that im autistic, its a reaaally low degree of autism, but enough for i get tics like stretching fingers and walking weird when im home and things alike. I know that when they pick on me they want me to get better but they do so imitating and laughing on how i walk, pinching my belly and etc. And today, i went for a walk, when i came back they started arguing bc my room always stinks as hell. My granny told me that my room smells like if someone had sex in it for all day long. BUT I SWEAR, IM A 19 YEAR OLD MAN, I HAVE COLLEGE, I WORK, I AN ADULT FOR CRHIST SAKE!!! I DONT TOUCH MYSELF!!! Im past this teenager thing, idk if i just smell bad by nature, hormones or whathever the fuck this is, i dont masturbate anymore! And they showed some spots with different collor on my bed, but i swear id never do such a thing!!! I think is just sweatness, theres no other reason I DONT JERK OFF! In the end, i feel like they dont want me in here and are just accusing me of whathever they find to make me go home by "my own decisions". Idk what happened to reach this point. Both my dad and my uncle are two parasites who such money from my grandparents whenever they can, i feel like im just another one of them....
Posted Dec 18, 2022, 1:09 AM UTC
I mean who cares if you wink? You're an adult. Tell them to mind their own business.
Dude, i swear, i don't do it, I'm past it I'm a full grown adult what would it be of me if I'd stuck with teenages behaviour all life? The thing is they are mad at me rn i don't know what could be that spot we saw, I'm on Reddit i wouldnt have no problem in telling i jerk off if I ever did it (in this case). But I didn't do that. Still it is not a sweat spot, it looks like if someone... cummed. I contacted some friends that have nurses class im my college, they said something about "nocturnal emission" but I'm not a teenager anymore it doesn't make any sense...
It’s not teenage behavior though: it’s perfectly normal adult behavior. Just know that there is nothing wrong with it.
On the other hand, I can see why you are bothered. I’d make a concerted effort to do a deep clean in your room. Often times you can’t smell it if it’s you. I think they are probably just bothered by cleanliness or hygiene for some reason and they are pinning it on “it smells like sex”. Good luck!
People of all ages masturbate. It’s healthy and normal. You have a distorted view on that. Regardless, we believe you that you don’t. The bottom line is you can’t control what conclusions others come to and sometimes they will falsely believe something to be true about you and even though it’s not fair, it’s just something you have to shrug and say: “oh well, I know the truth”. Trying to explain ourselves to others and be perfectly understood is not always possible, as frustrating as it is. You have to learn to be okay with that. My advice is to try to understand that your grandparents are from a generation where their teasing was considered okay, even though it’s really not for them to pinch you and comment on your body, or enter your room and speak to you about issues related to intimacy. They are crossing boundaries, which is common when children grow into adults and their family have difficulty realising that they should be respected as adults now with all the privacy and non-interference in your life that that entails. Do your best to avoid taking their comments to heart and allowing it to hurt you. Perhaps open the windows in your room once a day to air it out, wash your bedding weekly and ensure you keep on top of laundry accumulating in your room too (which can make any room smell funky). Keep things up at the gym for your own health and self esteem and stop putting your grandfather on such a pedestal. He’s a human being too, capable of mistakes and unintentionally hurting people’s feelings (yours) with teasing. I’m sure he loves you dearly and none of this is as devastating as you fear. If it comes to it you may need to respectfully stand up to them and say that you appreciate their feedback, and you will do better to keep your room aired out and hygienic but that you would appreciate if they didn’t enter your room uninvited to criticise you. If they cannot abide by that, we’ll, you’re 19. Most of us have been there, and it was this very thing with I respected boundaries that fuelled us all moving out as soon as we were able to a place of our own where no family can get up your ass for just trying to do your best in life. You’ll eventually get a job that enables you to find a share house or an apartment of your own. And then these issues will be behind you. Best of luck!
Hate to break it to you, but adults masturbate. It's not teenager behavior because it's just normal human behavior. I'm a woman, and I masturbate. I'm 37, a wife, a mother, and it's a perfectly natural thing to do. There is no age limit on masturbating or gender. Tell your grandparents to mind their own business as you are an adult and are doing nothing wrong.
Literally everyone on earth wanks. Everyone. Go forth and rejoice
I can't be that for ever, i work I have college, i go to the gym I can't stick with this type of shit anymore, how would I look into ppl eyes?
Those people also masturbate... Even though a teenager might masturbate more, the majority of adults does it