Hello.. I’m a struggling mother of 3.. I have self diagnosed.. haven’t worked up the courage to seek a therapist…

I don’t even know where to begin but I’m posting on this group because I need some validation/support about the things I’m experiencing. I never suspected that I had autism until about a year ago when I found autistic women YouTubers… when it finally clicked that I was just like them…

I have extreme sensory issues.. it causes me so much stress.. and I feel my husband doesn’t understand.. I can’t go into stores to look at clothes because my kids draw so much attention to me that I have a panic attack by the time I’m done.. so I often order clothes online that I then have to return.. or a lot do the time or I can’t return because I took the tag off and tried wearing it for the day before realized that I hated it.

About 2 years ago I made my husband sell our house because the neighbors were so loud.. the cars were loud… the barking dogs… we moved into the quietest apartment I could find… but we are about to move again… so anxious that the new place will be loud…

Now that my kids are getting older … the social pressure is overwhelming to be a “good mom”…

Now that my husband is in a new career I’m suppose to create a certain image as a family unit…

My husband left to run errands… and I just realized that I even mask around him… I mask around my mom.. my kids..

I detested everything that I have become when I was a kid… but I feel like have to be a certain way for my family …

I was almost forced into being a mom because I was a teen parent…

A lot of the time when I’m talking to people … I wonder do they know? Can they tell? Are they just pretending to be nice to me? Am I burden to my husband? To my family? Will anyone believe me?