Connor418

Hey there,

I’m surprised to be thinking about you. I suspect that you’re doing really well and am happy if that’s so.

I’m doing well myself. I can’t remember if I told you, but I can’t ever return to my old house. It has too many ghosts. It was a good call for me to pack up and leave last year.

You won’t see this, but all the same, please take care of yourself.

Love always, -M

I’ve read Barbara Tuchman’s, A Distant Mirror, several times. I find the work to be outstanding, and she does a good job in acknowledging all of the contradictions- peasants were filthy, peasants were clean, they loved their children, they were indifferent to children because of their high mortality.

From her work, I have the impression that knights in general were violent and tactically inept (Crecy, Agincourt, Poitours) as well as that their society in general took great joy in violence. She mentions a game where a cat would be pinned or nailed to a post, and the objective was for young boys to beat it to death with their heads.

This primarily covers England and France throughout the 130

Mom and Dad,

I know I wished you both a happy anniversary. With that said, I did not say enough.

I love you both without condition or caveats. You two have been my bedrock, and I would not have found the happiness and peace I feel without your unwavering love, patience and support.

The reason this came up is because I was telling a good friend about your love story. Dad, of how you ran for class president in high school and mentioned that grandma was the President of the local gardening society. And mom, of how after that, you teased dad by giving him a flower whenever you crossed paths. And dad, of how you kept every last one of those flowers preserved within the pages of your notebook.

Hey,

I figured it out. I know that you don’t hate me. Instead, the reason you treat me the way you do is because you look down on me. You have no respect for me as a person. When you’re sober, you can hide it. When drunk, your true perspective of me bubbles out. It reminds me of a volcano that spews condescension.

I’m not sure why you feel such disdain, but you do. Please correct me if I’m wrong. But alas, you won’t because you can’t. You know I’m right, and I think you feel some sort of satisfaction by running me down. I really don’t understand why. If I wronged you, I’m sorry.

I want to say that I don’t care, but that would be a lie. I do. It disappoints me. Has this always been you, or

Hey you,

I’m curious how you’re doing. I’d love to talk to you when you’re sober. Hell, I’d love to do that when I’m sober.

I’ve had adventures since we last talked, though undoubtedly you have too.

I’m fascinated a bit. You and I are in similar situations, similarly flawed, etc. and yet, I like my life. I don’t regret my current insane life, whereas it seems like you regret everything.

I don’t know if you’ll find happiness. I want you to. I hope I didn’t offend you by not pretending your treatment is kind or acceptable. The issue is that I care about you. And I’m not disappointed or surprised when you use, then discard me.

I’m not bitter. I think im indifferent. I wouldn’t forgive my

Hey,

Tell me what to do. I care about you and you don’t care about me. I’m fine with that. But how am I supposed to behave when you contact me? I’m your friend but you’re not a friend to me.

I’m not bitter, but when you reach out, am I required to pretend that we have a deep connection? I’m good at lying. I can do that. I won’t point out that you’re using me if that makes you happy.

But come on. You use me, you’re not a good person and I hurt your feelings when I point out the truth.

Treat me with some human decency and if we do have a friendship, tell me.

But if you blow me off if I’m inconvenient, on what grounds do you expect me to believe that we have a connection?

You don’t care

Hey you,

Are you alive? Are you in jail? I’m a bit concerned, but then again it’d be strange if I wasn’t concerned about you.

Since you’ve gone dark on me yet again, I’m thinking you’re doing ok or at least better. I’m at the beach. I’m having a drink but I’m not stressed. I finally understand us, and I’m good with that.

I used to think “Goodbye forever,” was real. But it’s not. You’re as incapable of reaching out to me as I am to ignore you.

I’m good. You always ask so I don’t mind saying it. I’ve found some peace in my life, finally. My main concern is you. I’m frightened for you. I would help you if you’d allow it. But you won’t or maybe you can’t and that’s cool. I’m here. Please be

Hey you,

I was thinking of you. I bet I’m just an annoyance to you because I know too much about you. You’re not frightened. You know that I won’t hurt you. I no longer know how I feel about you. The love is still there, but I guess I don’t see you as idealistically as I did at the start.

I want to pretend that I’m indifferent to you. But we both know that’s not true.

I bet you’ve had an amazing few days with Guinness while keeping bill on the hook, hoping he’s more than what he is. Or not. It is what it is. I’m drunk, living the dream and you exist in the back of my mind until I think about you.

I hope that you’re well. I’m doing well enough. I’ll be staying until the summer of ‘26. Ch

Hey there,

I had a lovely day. I finished a project- well not finished, I guess. I still need to do a thorough edit.

I hope that you have a great weekend. I bet it’ll be fun.

I have awesome cats. It feels good to be loved.

-M

Hey you,

I don’t blame you for being gone. I expected it, I guess. Sometimes things are inevitable.

Maybe we will talk again or maybe we won’t. I’ll leave that up to you. I’m doing well if you ever wonder. I’m always doing well.

I just realized that I should have gone to the beach today. But instead, I stayed home and worked and worked on a project.

Another reason is that I’ve been feeling sluggish. It’s just been that kind of a day.

I hope that you’re feeling good and get things sorted out.

All the best, -M

Hey you,

I’m at a bar on the beach. I’m slightly Drunk. Met up with friends and made new friends. I have to go soon or I’ll be spending the night on the beach.

I don’t think I have much going for me on paper, and yet, I feel like I’m winning at life. Being surrounded by nice people who give a damn can do that.

I hope that you’re good and you find the right person. I mean that.

-M